Category: Uncategorized

Ante Up Your Maine Home Property Repair 1.5 Percent Yearly.

Smooth, Cool, Solid And Natural. Maine Granite Counter Tops.

Maine home building, remodeling projects can take a back seat, be put on hold when hungry, expensive college accounts need feeding.

Had six college funds to divert funds to, direct monies to on top of other household expenses. For other “luxuries” like food, vehicle gas, insurances, braces, sporting camps …the normal load all of us carry. But down to the last pup with final year of college and it is all funded, stored away so time to loosen the money belt.

Time to take some of my own advice as a veteran Maine real estate broker who reminds all my buyers, sellers that 1.5 % of the value of a home needs to be plowed back in to the property each year. To maintain the Maine home’s value. And because if many Maine home repairs are let go, the damage from neglect is more costly in the long run.

Where to put the funds, which repairs first or later is like a room full of emergency room sick and dying patients.

Which ones to triage, the sorting out and allocation of treatment priorities to do the most good.

The “eenie-meenie-miney-mo” overall thinking that guides the selection of who’s next, who’s up? Items that are like spending money to save money with a more efficient heating system, beefing up the insulation are no brainers.

But the expensive hole in the ground behind the home for the pool that the kids will enjoy on hot summer days gets consideration too. But from a resale, in Aroostook County land of many lakes, that expenditure of dead Presidents does not come back at the Maine real estate closing. But those happy cousins, time together as a family and cookouts are something you can not put a price tag on. Because as Kodak ads remind “time goes by”. Make memories.

Cat Nap In Maine. The Snippets, Moments Are A String Of Magic.

If you are thinking resale, make sure to spread the TLC from the job jar items around the home to keep the place in balance. If you spend the whole nine yards on just the kitchen, the Maine real estate buyer will ooh and ahhh as they come in from outside.

But as they enter the harvest gold dining room with long matted shag carpet, the excitement stops.

The lub dub of their heart slows. Ice Ice cold baby starts to enter the experience. New vanity in the bath, replacing a broken bedroom louvered door, the clouded glass in the living room windows from a blown seal are small fixes that deliver big dividends. If done before the walk through and to gain the oohs and aahhs!

My friend, this year’s Governor of Rotary District 7810 Leigh Cummings told me long ago to remember to tackle the most urgent needs before the college nickel and dime starts. Because projects get shelved, delayed, put off because the money is needed for higher education and all the side drains having kids in college, away from home cause. He was right.

Now it is a time of catch up.

The second floor bath tub drain developed a small leak which gave me a perfect excuse to rip out the old and replace with new. Had to do that project. But being CPA bean counter wise and always thinking of resale is no fun. So lots of black granite weaved in to that bathroom total over haul. If you don’t plan to sell and want to loosen up, do updates the way you want not with fear of market resale return. It’s fun. Let’s you be creative. Stimulates the local economy.

Just did that with a lake home counter top of granite. And boy, do the guys from Extreme Granite in Presque Isle Maine have nice stone, do an expert installation. Their roadside profiling of large drop dead gorgeous granite slabs is like Sirens you can not plug your ears, cover your eyes to avoid. The displayed granite of every imaginable color and texture activated a tractor beam that pulled my Jeep off US Route One. They had me at hello.

After touring the granite inventory, I picked a color that would go with the existing decor and wow, is it pretty.

Practical Maine home repairs are typically how local residents tackle their building renovation projects. But the pride and beauty of a solid piece of continuous granite gleaming, shining is something you know will last. Was worth the investment for the wow factor alone.

What is your next must do Maine home repair? And if you could, like an over tired, sugared to the hilt excited kid at Christmas pick something above and beyond practical, what would it be? Outdoor hot tub? Sauna? Four season’s atrium room? Walk in closet like the movie Pretty Woman with all the built ins? Wall of angled glass, garden tub master baths the kids don’t get to use? A media room, music or hobby recreational addition?

Get busy living because if you are not you are dying is one motto that keeps it plain and simple. And the sooner you realize that relationships with others you know, love around you matter the most in life. It is fun to plan, dream together on the Maine home repair projects. Other areas besides work, kids like travel.

So loosen up with the money, how you allocate time and enjoy living more. Those around you will too. Don’t be so serious I found out is not bad advice. And learning to surrender needs to be part of the mix to keep your life in balance. Not too much of this area and too little of that one. Give yourself semi annual life reviews, make them physicals like important. They are. Become a better servant and learn your purpose in life in Maine for a richer, happier, better way of living.

Other blog posts….

A Twist On The Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs Story…

Why Kids Raised In Maine Turn Out Better …

The Walk To The Maine Lake Dam At 5AM …

I’m Maine REALTOR Andrew Mooers, ME Broker
207.532.6573
info@mooersrealty.com.

April 27, 2012
Taking Time To Peek Inside A Person’s Heart, Including Your Own.

One Big Happy Family In Maine. Stay Connected. Learn From Each Other.

How well do you know yourself and wasn’t your favorite teacher growing up also the one that challenged you?

Your hardest teacher who kept you accountable. Made you believe you could do better, be more in an encouraging way? That was honest if you were slacking, trying to cut corners without putting the time, attention into the home work assignment and told you?

The outward appearance of the people you meet is what first gets your attention.

Or some rely on juicy gossip, rumor spreaders if you decide to let them do your thinking. With the public opinion of some more important than asking or taking the time to come to your own conclusion. Drawing wrong conclusions. Studying others, passing judgement based on not much happens a lot in our culture.

But getting closer, inviting in, allowed to see inside a person’s heart is a very fortunate but rare, elusive thing.

Because not all of us let ourselves take a serious, long hard look at the inside of your heart. You meet a lot of people that do not open up, that act, run and hide. That don’t dare to show you who they were yesterday, are today and working to be tomorrow.

Freely listing their weaknesses, greatest fears and why they have them is a healthier, honest approach. With no shame, guilt and knowing you have to be the same person inside and outside your home. Transparent if you are ever going to improve, grow more mature. But the truth is feared to scare someone away.

I like, love someone more if they do show me everything in time. Because you and I eventually figure it out any way. We all carry baggage. That opens up, can not be hidden for long. But we have to acknowledge we all have pieces we carry. Need to put down, leave behind with work.

Impressing others, giving an impression that you are something you are not comes from a steady diet of spin, marketing and being told it is all about you. Being happy and the center of attention twenty four | seven. Caring, sharing, kind and a loving heart and being a servant to others is where the real beauty is in a person. Inside that heart, not the layers and layers outside to appear glamorous, envied or full of pride and vanity.

People need to be tough skinned, tender hearted day in, day out.

When you are able to let your guard down which is hard for people that have been hurt and are hardened, then others that can help you see the soft spots. They also see the bruises, black blue and purple spots, stripes on your heart. That trust is important in a relationship to deepen it and not be just skimming the surface. For show.

Be your best but work to be even better. Don’t get comfortable or expect others to do all the heavy lifting, changing so your crank factor does not activate when you get frustrated, irritated. And automatically look around the room to see who is responsible. And they better cut it out. I did not say it is easy. I struggle with the same things I outline in my blog posts. But we help and learn from each other right when we compare notes honestly?

Surrendering. Waving the white flag is considered a sign of weakness. But being honest about your fears, weaknesses helps others be more sensitive and understand how you are built. Why you react the way you do that needs work, changing.

We need others to help perfect us along with being on our knees daily.

You don’t get help unless you ask for it. And it all starts with knowing you need it. That life improves when you understand yourself and are open, honest to get input from those your trust, who have lived with you long enough to make some interesting observations.

Listen to them, see if more than one friend, family member is pointing out things not with a harsh sharp tongue but out of love for you.

Lay your relationship cards face up on the table.

All of them, uh uh ahhh, that one up your sleeve too. Love does not let you keep any, hold back some for yourself when you trade hearts. When your concerns are the other person and yours become the other persons.

But keep the key to work on your inner joy, peace and to develop good character traits in your heart at the same time. There should be so much give and take, activity, communication back and forth to guide the unfolding process. You can not be free and easy if you are defensive, resentful or shut down and retreat.

Look up and take you eyes off those around you.

Avoid comparisions, keep your peepers on your own sheet of paper. Turn down the noise around you and listen to the small still voice inside that increases in volume, intensity the more time you spend on your knees, in prayer. Make it as important as air, water, food, shelter. It is.

Make the mental, spiritual shift of the need to “look good” outside to the world to working overtime to be pretty on the inside of your heart. So without words, it radiates, oozes with joy out of you so obviously.

To the point that those who have not seen you for a while stop, look and literally ask “What’s happening inside you?” And then without your response but just from your smile, they know without your answer exactly what’s up.

Keep it going, you are on the right track.

The one that is lighted, that shows you are worth your weight in salt afterall. No one else can fix you but they can guide you. And you can lend a hand in other people’s quest to live life healthier, more fully mentally, physically, spiritually. It can not be store bought and is all home grown natural.

Let up.

Change your focus and instead of nagging, demanding, sulking, withdrawing, put all that wasted emotional time and effort in to attitude improvement. Adopt the life approach to others that it’s you who needs to change, improve.

Your misery, pain and suffering is not caused by others who don’t meet your expectations. It’s YOU not measuring up to be better, to help lift up the many relationships around us.

Take a blank white sheet of paper.

List all the things you don’t like about the person nearest and dearest to you. Take another sheet, jot down the areas you are weak in, what you need to work on. Long list on your self examination right and very few items if any on the other person’s run down right? You see the point.

Our way of looking at problem areas, other people we don’t really know is flawed. Too easy to point fingers, sit back and get lazy in your own corner. Get out of the ring, stop fighting and start healing.

Spend time alone, away from people and search your heart, examine your life, and ask yourself hard questions. Be your own harshest critic. be humble, full of humility, honesty. And come to understand the reasons why you are the way you are, why life unfolds the way it does that you are directly responsible for.

The junk, gunk, dark stuff you want to remove, change.

And to reveal the areas of you that just need a little polish to really shine to be a good servant, to show all your passion, purpose here on Earth. Other people do not trigger your negative attitudes, you allow your bitterness to develop. But love keeps no score of wrong. Think about the meat of Ephesians 4:31-32 today. It was my lesson today.

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Maine, an easier place to figure things out because of less population, more beautiful four season surroundings.

I’m Maine REALTOR Andrew Mooers, ME Broker
207.532.6573
info@mooersrealty.com

April 26, 2012
Learning More About Your Parents After They Are Dead And Gone.

Learn From Others About Yourself, Your Long Gone Family Members, Parents.

Are your parents still alive and how well did you get to know them?

Your Mom and Dad are your role models and the source of how other relationships form in your life. Pretty important and you are lucky if you spent a lot of time with them.

They made you, love and nurtured you. Know you, can help explain things that come up in life that don’t seem in focus. Or that you don’t understand why. They covered the same ground years ago. You go through many of the same places in life that you sense, know they were here but years ago.

When I got home to Drews Lake last night, after supper I headed in a different direction than the norm. Getting out of your routine, shaking it up is wise in all you do to have new experiences. Bump in to old friends that maybe you have not seen for awhile. And to catch up.

I took a meandering path from Chickadee to Moose to Loon Lane through the woods, along the lake shore to head in the direction of Tall Timber Lodge.

I did not get that far and saw a light on at the home of Jimmy and Louann Ritchie. They were old neighbors for years across from my parents’ US Rt 2 Maine farm home.

Jimmy has had a heck of a bought with shingles that affected the sight in one eye.

Multiple ablation procedures for cardiac arrhythmia. One time the machine quit causing a rain out. Another a blood clot caused, added, not needed drama. But last night he seemed his old smiling, full of stories and enthusiasm humor self. And Louann, a Southern Aroostook school system teacher was glad I dropped in to visit with her four cats, all adoptees from the shelter!

The stories the two shared with me about how much they miss, enjoyed living next to my parents was heart warming. Dad would sneak over to bum a cigarette in his on and off again wagon tug of war to quit. Louann could relate as her struggle but success was equally tough. Louann and her two daughters enjoyed watching the Durham cows Mom and Dad raised.

Coming over to witness a calf birth on the what was always the coldest day of the year it seemed.

And helping to round up cows that got out because of a Maine moose with poor eye sight charging through to court and spark with one of the cows. He hoped.

Louann remembered Dad as a dreamer, deep thinker with a mind never idle and always churning with new ideas. She said my Mom was the governor that held him down to Earth with his tendency to soar and want to try new things. She was more moderate, disciplined and studied the new endeavor more fully, with more practical reason than Dad. They complemented each other well. And each knew how lucky each was. Showed affection in so many ways growing up that the four boys beamed to witness.

Louann agreed with me that Mom was Dad’s greatest asset.

Because besides his talents, intelligence, he had lots of insecurities from years of growing up in a troubled childhood in a drama filled alcoholic family. He lacked patience. Mom did not fault him for these scars but because he shared all, trusted her, she was his tender loving salve.

Trusting others to open up and bare your soul has to happen in a relationship. And it can not until you examine, accept and see what happened and why. You have to take inventory of what’s what. When you ask God to come in to your heart you learn so much. Everything, I mean everything gets exposed, a full review. Then start the hard work of understanding, cutting the chains. Purging of the bad. Replacement with inner peace, joy and acceptance to be better. New habits, priorities. Once the kids are up and out, you have tons of time their overbooked lives did not allow.

Not for awhile, forever on your knees.

You do once you know the truth, it sets you free. And you become an open book, testifying on your feet after being on your knees to help others making the same mistakes. But now armed with the why. Don’t sweep it under the carpet. Face the problems head on I have learned.

Mom had patience, was the real back bone with true love and respect for Dad but all happening, ripening like fruit on the vine. Slowly over sixty years of marriage. I am in awe of someone with long marriages where the two grew up together, went through all the same experiences. No gaps, pauses, missing sections in the life film reel. Who would not want that type of love, marriage, commitment?

Mom stepped up to remove dad’s slack and never threw his weaknesses back in his face in anger.

Did not beat him down to manipulate him or keep him down. He would not have easily been subdued. He always quickly landed on his feet with her help.

Back to his usual hopeful optimistic nature as a Maine potato farmer for 24 years, then a owner of a fleet of trucks, then a real estate appraisal career. That Mom helped make a success as his equal partner who worked just as hard as he did.

Dad did not get exploited by Mom and they worked together, not competed. But again, they started out very young, after a whirlwind short romance as he went off to war as a B 24 bomber tail gunner. The two wrote love letters daily and that deep love is what helped them go through the struggles every marriage has.

My parent’s struggles with poor potato years, financial tight spots because Dad expanded too quickly at the wrong time. Plus raising four boys to improve them, prepare them for life. It all made them one, working in unity, with oneness. They built the relationship and did everything together. Not just after work or weekends. But during the workday.

Stopping for coffee breaks while the sprayer was filling for the crops.

Mom taking supper out when he had spring planting or fall harvest when the weather meant better get it done right now. Not to wait or put it off. She grew up on a farm and understood what being a farmer’s wife meant.

You might think opposites would not attract because of being so different. But those differences are like extra colors in missing places in each person’s crayon box. Ones you are not born with, can not buy and only come from others with different colors you need. And you need to appreciate the strengths they have that you lack. And for affirmation, the same pride and respect, appreciation that helps the other mate beam, shine, do even better. Try harder.

My parent’s love for each other, for the family and the farm they grew up on showed me what a solid marriage takes with lots of work. I am not lazy but being gung ho is not enough. You have to surrender, listen.

Do not what you think the other mate needs, but what they tell you they need and want through communication. Listen to them before it is too late. Spend lots of time together and don’t let anything build up, fester, go untended to keep the love light shining.

I learn more from other people’s lessons than the trial and error method on my own.

Open up, share, communicate, connect with friends, family around you that you may have been too busy with kids, work to reach out to. Make time. See the healthy importance to fit it in.

Be willing to listen, contribute to grow together. We carry around many needless frustrations, setbacks and heartaches if you do not. I am looking forward to my next visit with family and friends that kids and work just did not allow enough time to connect with. Maine, famlies, friends, mates, other people are more important here.

I’m Maine REALTOR Andrew Mooers, ME Broker
207.532.6573
info@mooersrealty.com

April 25, 2012
Kids Raised In Maine Families Turn Out Better.

Pick Your Favorite Color, Use Them In Your Life.

Every child you are lucky enough to father, mother is such a privledge, gift and in small Maine towns, the entire village helps raise those kids.

You pitch in with school projects, community events and families are strong. Local Maine teachers offer support during tough times too beyond reading, writing, arithmetic. Wrapping arms around a small child, providing hugs, a rocking chair closeness for a little one. To just listen, care about the child’s troubles, confusion. Teachers can help kids way way beyond just guiding the classroom educational lesson plans.

Mainers stay involved with the raising of those kids from the time they are knee high to a grasshopper. To when your grocery bill swells to high three digits when they and their sporting buddies, classmates all make a home loud with laughter, conversation.

Unfortunately when schools in large urban, city areas become more like factories, kids can be herded through without the individual attention that smaller classes create. Had a Philadelphia teacher who wants to move his five kids to Maine describe the gangs, metal detectors, wall to wall students squeezed in concrete detention centers, more like prison settings with drug dogs, police full time roaming the halls. That is not the way it is in Maine, the 4th lowest crime state.

Societal pressures to standardize and dehumanize can squeeze the life out of individual spark that is unique in all children.

Harry Chapin wrote songs, sang about many things “of the world” that happen that hurt all of us. Like why the color of the flowers have to, must be always red.

Flowers come in a slew of colors and wild flowers of Maine are my favorite. Like the images of Maine lupines, or the stain glass colors and shapes artisans pick to create one of a kind creations. Enjoy the natural beauty of the many neat people God brings in and out of your life. Let some of them rub off on your and vice versa. Don’t expect them to be your twin, a clone.

Let kids pick their own colors, and as adults, never lose your unique personality that makes you radiate, work together for the common good like a stained glass window.

We all have a unique purpose in life. Breath, relax, find your talents, true colors, and be a servant to others. You and I are all originals. The only one. Let your special light shine. Teach kids to do the same.

Maine, we keep it simple, we know who we are, why we are here.

I’m Maine REALTOR Andrew Mooers, ME Broker

April 24, 2012
The Walk To The Maine Lake Dam At 5AM.

Maine Loons Fishing, Bobbing, Letting The Current Drift Take Them Where It Will.

Today a dusting of crunchy snow squashed under foot as rain mixed with ice added to the early morning walk experience.

Creating a new dimension as like the mailman, who does not only deliver on warm, sunshine rich days, I hoofed it to where the Meduxnekeag River starts from its headwaters at Drews Lake.

The turn around started the return trip after sitting on a square piece of granite rock and listening, watching the dam water churn life reflections. The rain on my face, sound of ice pellets patter, splatter on my jacket mixed in reminded me of picking potatoes as a kid. When the dark clouds overhead burst open. And grabbing, rounding up in a hurry my water jug, sweatshirt and lunch pail. Blue streaking, racing for the covered pickup body at the end of the spud field. Rained out for the day, heading home soggy, wet like a river rat.

Storms in your life happen.

Get stronger, don’t expect it to get easier. Some inclement weather just needs your strength to accept, to just persevere to get through it. Do the best you can and help others in the same boat hang on until calmer weather. Growing up on a Maine potato farm and being up against it, worrying about hanging on to that farm taught me a lot early in life.

Be grateful for what you have, don’t want for anything you don’t need.

Embrace struggles and squeeze all the wisdom, understanding you can from them. Make good come out of them. Consider it all joy. Remember watching your parents do the same. Learn from, remember their lessons.

Living Waters Youth Bible Summer Camp is located on the shores of Grand Lake, near Butterfield Landing, in the Dark and MacAllister Cove region. The Hodgdon ME Baptist church has taken on a mission project to help Living Waters replace, enlarge a waterfront storage building for kayak, canoe paddles, life jackets, other equipment. And to scrape, stain several lake view cabins that have been waiting patiently for a drink of a new protective finish. To raise money for the worthwhile project, the Lunn family performed a concert.

Last night the Cary, East Hodgdon ME Baptist churches were invited to the variety of inspirational, moving music and fed in more than one way.

With food and fellowship after the performance of all three congregations. As I watched, enjoyed the talented family and Barrett Quint’s expert job with accompanying audio visual imagery, my eyes watered.

I felt so grateful through the uplifting songs. So ashamed and broken through the ones of sorrow and pain. There is something very positive happening in my life. I used to feel contained, too busy, racing and was missing cues because of too much on my plate. Examine your excuses, admit your mistakes and don’t keep making them. Others do the same thing when you come up for air, look around.

Since the kids are raised, out of the house for the first summer in twenty three years, I have more time to dedicate to areas of my life that have not gotten the attention they deserved. Oh sure, taught Sunday school, had gotten the family to church growing up, but a deeper personal relationship with the Lord, more time on my knees did not seem available between being self employed, a single parent and struggling to be a better mate in a relationship that I seemed to be three steps behind on most of the time.

As I watched the Lunn family perform with such ease, polish and sincere joy in their gift of a music ministry, I remember my home growing up being filled with music.

Mom who was a church piano player, organist playing Rock of Ages, In The Garden, Amazing Grace, Church of the Wildwood. There is nothing like walking in to the home as a kid and hearing church music filling the home. And fresh warm cookies. My Mom was in the home, worked together with her family, husband on the Maine farm.

The sound of singing full of joy or sorrow depending on the song. Those songs now are like old familiar friends because I grew up with them in the foreground and background. Of church services, funerals, holidays, worship experiences. And filling the Maine farm home.

I feel especially close to my mom when in church, with music and the lyrical lessons I learn in life being brought up with her love, attention. She was my spiritual leader. Dad was God fearing and grateful but had too many irons in the fire. Mom really worked at strenghtening her faith and radiated a goodness, a joy that was from the Lord. She got me, my brothers on the right path for life spiritually. Her death showed her never ending dedication to the Lord. No fear or struggles, worries until the very end due to her unending, undying faith. She taught us all so much.

While mom was making a Sunday dinner after church, Dad would be reading the weekend paper and listening on the stereo to Robert Goulet, Arty Shaw, Bennie Goodman, Glen Miller or the Ray Conniff Singers in the farm home front room. The same room my brothers would be playing the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Cream, Animals, Chuck Berry depending on their mood during school home work study the rest of the week evenings.

In the same room, I took piano lessons on a Story and Clark model brand new from Robinson Music. Lesson for two dollars a week from Greta White from Oakfield. I can see her with a pencil in her teeth as she played something I was suppose to master before next week’s lesson. I took organ lessons too in the summer at the Episcopal and Court Street Baptist church. There is something very sacred, special being in a church all alone and playing music.

If you have been away from church, get back in to the pews.

See what you are missing and desperately need. Every day. From the start at a baptismal fount and then for the rest of your life. Think of it as important as air, water, food, sleep. Don’t get out of the habit. When you take a break, are prayerless, nothing good happens in your life. Your faith in something outside yourself, a higher power is the key to all your successes or when you struggle during the set backs everyone has. Music is one special ministry.

My Aunt Ruth was a music teacher who had no kids of her own yet one thousand that thought of her, relied on her like a Mom. My brother Stephen played in a variety of Bangor Maine music bands too and it was always fun to sit down front, dance, laugh and watch him boogie woogie. Help people forget about their problems which he always reminded the crowd to leave those at the door. I have good brothers.

Brother Stephen’s philosophy for the next few hours it was going to be fun, a time to let your hair down, cut the rug.

And to remember to tip your waitress who was working hard to do her part in the musical experience. He was quite the showman and came by his skills naturally growing up in a household of music.

In high school I had the lead in Tom Sawyer, other musicals and All Aroostook, All State performances kept me busy, out of trouble. Our kids in a musical town like Houlton Maine did the same in show, jazz choir competitions around New England. Working in Maine radio starting at fourteen in Houlton then Bangor taught me well how important music of all kinds is to people’s lives. Music can fill you with the Holy Spirit, help you through joyful and not so much fun but right on time, needed life events.

For more out of your life, you have to be willing to trust others, open yourself up to those around you.

Not be self contained, trying to do it all yourself. Don’t carry the weight of the world, learn to say no in serving others, your community too. Pace yourself and as my mom would remind, “Andrew, moderation”. Sing a song, dance, enjoy life and don’t be so serious.

Even though your parents die, they still talk to you and you to them. If you spent a lot of time with them like I did, my kids did growing up. If you are local to them you know them very well. And what they shared with you stays with you. It is okay to ask for help, to share more of you. To become more available, an open book outside and inside your home. Be one person who admits their mistakes, shows his struggles through testimonials to improve and the need for others to come along side in the process. And to be a servant to others to help them in the same way.

The focus in your life can be lost, misplaced but your attitude, your sails can be adjusted once you see what is missing.

Where correction is needed, your efforts need to be doubled up. Slowing down, being freed up with an empty nest makes the over due inside over haul the priority for me. To improve physical, mental, spiritual health should always be the goal. Not shelved for something else. Keep your eyes on your own paper and avoid comparisons too. You have skills, talents and may just have low self esteem, lack self confidence because you are busy watching, listening to others.

Slowing down, shifting priorities as your life situation changes is a healthy adjustment. It’s your life. Work on you. Expect more from yourself than others. Keep you eyes on your own paper. Discover your hidden talents, skills, abilities for service to others. Watch your self confidence, esteem increase. Tied to the time you spend on your knees. Dependent proportionately to the amount of your day you set aside to get in to the word. To be fed. To work on you one on one.

Alone is not bad and what you need as you search for answers to prayers.

Make good use of the time alone. And you will get those answers one by one if you just ask. Develop humility, discernment and learn to surrender so you can. Be faithful to the one who made you, your manufacturer. He does good work. Is the only one that can “fix what ails you”. To get, keep you on track. Who exposes your weaknesses, why you stumble and guides you, provides your true joy. He is the salt, light needed to find your true worth and purpose in life. The greatest miracle is for those around you to see whoa, what is going on inside you… and they want some too. Don’t keep it a secret. Lead them from where you were to where you are now.

Maine, still waters, natural uncrowded places to heal, learn your purpose, find your inner joy and peace.

I’m Maine REALTOR Andrew Mooers, ME Broker
207.532.6573
info@mooersrealty.com

April 23, 2012
The Door Left Wide Open If Either Wanted Kids.

Mother Goose Tending To The Fuzzy New Brood.

The couple both agreed if either wanted children after they married that they would start a family.

Just one decisive vote all it would take. All that would be needed both pledged, promised. But during dating many things are like being on school summer vacation easy.

Shortly after each said I do, the husband said I don’t, won’t father our child. He did not want kids and that was that. The door closed, nailed shut on the subject. That marriage issue, hurdle and disagreement meant the hard work of a real school year was in session, underway. Like a surprise quiz or test you were not prepared for suddenly announced. Causing a pit in your stomach about any other surprises ahead in the marriage. The honeymoon was over.

Neither had thought they wanted to have kids during dating because they had married late.

But the biological clock was still ticking, healthy and the wife especially was so good with kids. But had never had any. I knew as a kid I wanted kids and that that was one of my purposes in life. To be a parent, raise a bunch the better part of two decades until empty nest syndrome kicked in. And all kinds of free time was created to fill with new life pursuits, hobbies, relationship self improvement.

I got a call from a man claiming to be my cousin. A child in the family no one knew about, that did not show up in any of the photo albums, the reunion conversations. The son of my great uncle and aunt that I always knew as childless, also marrying late. And both long gone, dead and buried.

That call out of the blue coming in right on schedule hit me oddly at first.

The knee jerk response, instinct was no. Can’t be. No kids in my memories of the pair. But logic said hear him out. Listen to the story and see if it is plausible, possible.

The new cousin was a man in his seventies, living on the Maine coast. He was blessed with four girls of his own. Had carried the secret of his real parents for approaching four score. And as he closed in on his death, the end of his life, he wanted two things. To know the health history of my great aunt and uncle, his parents.

My great uncle was a diabetic that did not take care of the disease even though his wife, my great aunt was a cracker jack nurse.

This new cousin wanted to tell his daughters the secret, the family health history of their real grandparents. He had one daughter with diabetes.

At first, my new elderly cousin believed his real mother, my great aunt was his aunt. Called her that growing up. His mother could not conceive a child, my great aunt had found herself pregnant back in the 1930’s. A picklish condition and one that I don’t think my great uncle ever knew about during courting and sparking. That might have upset the marital to be apple cart in the pursuit. When he was her initiative.

My great aunt was a world war one nurse and made several trips here, there on “assignments”. So heading to Braintree Massachusetts to work at a hospital where she was needed for nine months, a little under a year did not seem out of the ordinary to anyone in her family in the Houlton Maine area. Nurses went where duty called, traveled like doctors who used to make house calls too. They would stay with the sick, run the house, keep things in order until the infirmed were back on their feet. Feeling in the pink.

I scanned, emailed tons of images of my great aunt and uncle and my new bonafide second cousin did the same from his end of himself.

His birth certificate was witnessed by one of my great aunt’s best friends, Alfreda Rooney from Ludlow Maine. The names of the principles were creatively altered but you could see the logic leading to what the paperwork revealed.

My parents came to the real estate office, Both studied the images he had kindly emailed me and both exclaimed how much he looked at this age like one or the other of his real parents. No DNA swabs, paternity tests or grave exhumations needed. Nothing high profile or filled with drama or notariety of the players in this paternity issue. No high skates legal suit with lots of billable hours. It was simple. I had a new cousin, welcome aboard my attitude. Family is everything I was taught, shown growing up.

No financial gain motivation, just wanting to get the secret off his chest before he died.

To let his kids, my new four third cousins know their real heritage, lineage. He had known his real mother as his Aunt for the better part of his life until his mother let him in on the secret before her passing. Wonder how many other similiar secrets went to the grave in the families, neighbors around me?

My new cousin and I exchange Christmas cards. My parents who are both gone now when alive invited him north to visit. He never did with them but called me one day for assistance in finding my great aunt and uncle’s grave stone. I helped him and told him everything I knew, that was shared with me about his parents.

When I told him my cousin Perry and I were two cousins she seemed to be especially fond of, and how much fun my great aunt was, what a tease I heard my great uncle was, he seemed troubled. Did not share the joys, fond memories and told me his real mother create problems for him that he was still struggling with as he admitted to the world what not everyone would share as the best action to take.

It was bittersweet like many stepping stones, set backs, and trials we all have in life.

No one is immune. What is your family secret? Have you come to terms, grips with it? Do you keep it under tight wraps? Ashamed, embarrassed or empowered with it to be stronger because of it. To use it for good or just the sheer freedom to admit and not carry it around.

Loving someone is like that.

Don’t ever try to smother it, hide it, let them know even if that love is not returned, if the other side of the signal gave up on you, the us. Because you waited too long. It feels good to tell the truth in matters of the heart. Regardless of the outcome. Swallow your pride. Everyone needs someone to lean on sometime in life. When you are not strong, when you need someone to carry on. It is never too late as long as you are alive. There is always a morning after the storm.

I don’t believe my great uncle ever knew he was this retired fellow from Rockland Maine’s father. Swept under the rug, kept tight lipped by the few that knew that never spilled the beans. Until the boy’s supposedly mother told the truth of who really was. Would the truth hurt someone, cause more problems for others?

Be ready for your call, keep an open mind, and invite in any new family members you may have. Family, kids are one of God’s most important institutions. Cherish yours. Embrace and hold them close through the peaks and valleys of your life.

Maine, big state, down to Earth people who keep it simple, real, honest.

I’m Maine REALTOR Andrew Mooers, ME Broker
207.532.6573
info@mooersrealty.com

April 22, 2012