No news is not good news because just not hearing anything makes a person wonder.
Hope, assuming but not knowing for absolute certain how things are going. Maybe jumping to the wrong conclusion. Like dial readings to know how a machine is running, communication isimportant. Both voiced, non-verbal all add cues. To paint the picture. To give others a hint of what’s up, shakin’, bakin’. The Connection With The Audience. Seeing Each Member One By One.
I work in a service industry and setting expectations upfront is great.
But for great service providing, it means very good care. But along the way explaining, some backing up to start educating has to happen. About what the process is. What stage we are in and what could happen next. If this, that does take place or ends up failing to occur.
Everyone wants to be kept informed in a relationship. No matter how business like or intimate. To hear from you, to ask you questions, to make it two way communication. Because the twenty questions helps relay what is happening on your end. As it happens, changes and things unfold.
For between their ears on the other side of the conversation connection.
Behind the eyeballs too. To transfer the best, current information. To draw, come to the same correct commonly shared conclusion. So the other is in the know. If the two sides are not in the same room location to see and hear for themselves. If not in the same hometown, state, heck country or solar system.Peaceful, Space, Fresh Air, Clean Water. That’s A Big Part Of Maine’s Magic.
Tell me what you are doing, and getting the same report back.
To avoid worry from creeping in and based on not much if anything. Except a wild imagination. With texting, emailing, cell phones and the mails.
Actual visits too. There is no reason for someone in the relationship, no matter what kind to be left in the dark. Out in the cold on what you are up to and why, where, when.
Busy happens, but chasing to update is not needed with the new electronic age. Showing you care. Making it a priority to keep those in the circle abreast of developments. In the loop that gets fed, weeded, watered. If the other is wired in, tuned to use. Choose from the many methods of communication we have access to today.
Thinking of moving, relocating to Vacationland? Telecommute to Maine easier than ever before. Bring that current job out of state to Maine.
Yesterday, February 14th all about wearing red, spiking sugar levels with delectable chocolates, the mad dash rush for roses by the dozen.
No Man, Woman Is An Island. But For A Time Just Makes Sense Being Parked, Healing, Learning. Handwritten cards trying to accomplish the how do I love you, let me count the ways. Sparkling, faceted presents in little hinged velvet covered, silk interior slotted boxes.
Candlelight romantic dinners, wardrobes of little black dresses, leather and lace. Flutes of bubbly, grape juice. (Record screech sound, SADE or Chris Isaak background music halts abruptly.) Hear the pin drop in the silence?
Singles Awareness Day, does the term make you think of Misfit Island where one elf wants to be a dentist?
Alone. Not in a couple, relationship partnership for lots of reasons.
But it does not mean unhappy. Or should not be wanting to be with someone, anyone to just avoid being, doing time alone.
As Mae West said.. “I’m single because I was born that way.” Or Jay Leno quips yesterday “Today is Valentine’s Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.” And from behind the green shimmering sequined curtain The Wizard of Oz reports, this just in “Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.”
Or one more “Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.”
That from Carrie Bradshaw in “Sex in the City” who treats it like the porridge. Wait for the one that’s just right like Goldie did. Keep walking. Searching. Living. Paying close attention. Taking very good notes.Happy, Alone, Not Married Says Bingo. Let’s Play, Enjoy The Day. Make It Count. With no regrets or looking back. Stumbling, tripping over the past. It’s about patience.
Not in a relationship by choice reasons can be sheer fear driven. Marriage. One person. Forever. That’s a little unnerving, BOO, scarey.
Or you’ve tied the knot, given it a whirl. Have the kids to prove it. And just want to finish the job of getting them raised. Out of the nest safe and sound.
Not pushed out prematurely because of a bad blend of two families, tension. Coupled with a brand new relationship adjustment loaded with opening baggage pieces to juggle.
That’s not Brady Bunch smooth, wrinkle free, fun with Alice.
But tailspins, black smoke pouring out the rear end in the steep accelerating screaming dive. Going south shortly after the second I do. With some kids saying “I won’t”. Digging in their heels. Attended the wedding, in the photo proofs but not hook, line and sinker part of the ceremony. Some that will go to their graves in old age wishing, dreaming, hoping their real Mom and Dad reunite, hold hands again. Play footsies. The failure rate of second marriages with two opposing benches of kids on the playing field 72% for lost yardage, game ending penalties in the first two years. Ouch.Turtle’s Song Playing “So Happy Together.” Hear It?
It does not mean to be cynical either.
Like Peter Wolf in J Geils. His raspy voice broad brush horsely singing. Summing up the entire process with the warm gushing feeling lub dub ends up being “Love sucks”.
Or is congratulations, you just you have found another way to bleed. When the new and different, we talk all the time freshness ten day plates get unscrewed. The made in a prison ones get bolted on way too tightly with lock washers.
Tired. Because relationships need weeding, feeding, watering. And if it is not a friendly division of duties, back and forth on the teetering totter, someone gets drained. Empty, bankrupt. Then (dark cloud rolls over, rumble of approaching thunderbolts charging) resentment. Here it comes. Incoming. Take shelter. Walking on egg shells, tip toe mine field time. You forgot to date your mate. Should have done, gone into the relationship counseling upfront. Before you both realized you needed it but way way too late.
Do this or it is over gun to your head ultimatums don’t make it free and easy. Friendly.
And that kind of “I love you if..” conditional codicil twist to the vows up front before all your family and friends does not have a happily ever after ending. To the life together union where each stays individual but weaves roots, tree limbs intertwined, laced together. To be better off paired, than each could ever hope to pull off alone. Not putting the fun in dysfunction with Alt J’s “she’s morphine, the queen of my vaccine” either. Desperate for all the wrong reasons to keep her in his life to dull his past emotional pain.
Finds the flaws we all have and makes it lop sided you are the sole reason for rough seas, that is not a partnership. And exhaustive to the point that partner can turn themselves inside out. Forget who they are. To try to make the other happy. You can not make someone happy. That is a full time job your highness. Eyes on your own paper. Change you, and stop praying that God does the other.
Sometimes it is a break, getting to know yourself better and loving being alone.
Because some think, like Michael Douglas of Fatal Attraction fame that “Being single is pretty good. It’s a nice sense of irresponsibility.” Unless you are being stalked. Looking over your shoulder for the other half of it takes two. When the last relationship ends badly. And like it or not, you are still connected by a single tough strand of rusted barbed wire. Scrapping, chaffing your wrist or hooked to your ankle. And you hope you don’t have to gnaw it off, loose a limb to get away. Make the break from the date.
The National Association of REALTORS shows one third of homes are being bought by single people.
Maybe it is as simple as the cat being on the wrong side of the door. Wanting whatever he does not have. The dog with the bone eying that of another that seems to be worth the dropping, replacing exercise.
Work hard, you are as joyful, content as you want to be inside first and last. You should not be chasing happiness that does not live outside your inner thoughts. Wherever you find yourself, make it over the top. The best it can be for you, others. And blessed, lucky enough to be in a relationship where both partners think they are matched with someone way out of my league.
Where each thinks they got some kinda lucky. Each landed the better end of the bargain. Both wonder why and bask in that sunshine of appreciation.
If You, Me Were Out In The Open Labeled With Barcodes, Ingredient Labels Of What’s Inside.
What’s inside or missing in people we meet, have relationships of all kinds with in life?
Not what you have a gut feeling is inside. Not what they look you straight in the eye and tell you, believe themselves is inside. But the actual ingredients, tendencies, needs today.
What is in too great a supply of things that don’t set well with the way you are wired, built? What is missing and again something in a certain daily supply you need as a must in a relationship? Or what do you have more than enough for two of in this, this and this area. And the other person does too for something you are lacking for the needed daily requirement in a balanced, nutritious healthy relationship? But moderation of what you both need in the right supply to compliment what you already have on board inside each of you. The stuff that makes you unique, tick, shine, the way you need to roll. Not perfect but perfect for you. Custom made. Putting the fun in dysfunction.
And if you knew the good, bad and the ugly relationship nutritional ingredients easily read with a scanner or visually on the side of each and every person, time could be saved. Study the label as they lift their arm that is pasted on their side. Like you and I study them in the grocery aisles comparable shopping.
Sure, the mystery of getting to know someone can be fun exploring the unknown.
But knowing upfront what you need from the other, what you bring to the table for the good of the relationship. It can be argued people grow, change together and regardless of the here and now, can both build toward a shared vision of unity, oneness. From time to time the panels on each, the bar codes would need updating. Because life goes on, experiences happen.
And other people, your relationships rub off in good and not so great ways. Knowing hurt people hurt people. And often don’t always know why. Like if you had critical parents growing up that were not huggers, did not affirm you or make you feel worthwhile. That you could never please. Just seemingly disappoint. That kind of hurt, pain or missing needed childhood “vitamin” would mean your barcode, side panel would spell out “needs extra helping of daily hugs, confidence building and esteem boosting”.
No panel, no barcode, no communication with nothing held back is key. Otherwise you don’t know what is lacking, why the relationship later in life bogs down or stalls. But pretty sure it is the other person’s fault can happen. Thinking, reacting, feeling your way along blindly. Out of control. When the problem is your own to uncover, study, fix rather than coping in unhealthy ways blaming others for the “deficiency”. It takes two to shine. Or get axle deep, stuck in sinking quicksand.
But avoiding unhappy relationship box canyons going in almost sounds like arranged marriages by folks in other cultures that really knew the children.
And helped come along side to tie the knot that stays happily tied because of their experience from day one until the march down the aisle. They know the kids they raised and can predict this will or will not work. But there are surprises because some folks bring out your best… or worse. And the odds makers are not always right. There are flukes.
But for the long term, to know you are investing years to get decades, a lifetime not start, then start again. Not talking dating, but hoping for the rest of your life partner material. If you knew yourself, and matched the stuff that made you with what was needed to make the two of you even better. Too scientific for you? Not just relying on God or being in the dark, having to have faith in this kind of situation?
But ahh, who prints out the ingredient label, properly sets up the bar code for the reader, scanner?
Are we always honest with ourselves, are others we meet always open books, heart’s worn on their sleeves? Or do they pretend, convince themselves they are who they appear to the world to be. Coping the best they can or over compensating and missing true rich, deep happiness, joy, peace. But looking good to most.
Like being trim but not healthy, fit when microscoped. If you could hook up the mechanic’s diagnostics machinery. Plugged in and the reading showing you overheat under pressure. The graph shows capacity to be extra patient under a heavy load. Or prone to blame others when going gets tough. Or exta high levels of being a team player and ability to find the good when others deem situation dire, hopeless, a waste of time.
Information is powerful and quickly cuts to the chase on the likehood of a breakdown and in how many miles.
What to expect and odds of success, failure or going to be a case of just bumping along where both are not getting the maximum out of the relationship. Shown on the scope as here’s your problem. Loud and clear even though the truth hurts. It will set you free. Needs to be seen in black and white clarity. Like it or not.
Maine, a state where you get outdoors every chance you can. You get in tune with you. Know yourself inside and out. And the honest, down to Earth people around you pitch in, tell you things in a nice way about yourself. And are all ears to learn what can run off from your experiences, wisdom too. Maine, find your place in the space called Vacationland.
Grow A Relationship By Removing The Pride, The #1 Killer.
Conflicts in life, in relationships happen and how to resolve them is obviously a special, uniquely tailored skill.
Because no two people are the same. Each brings a different set of demands or ability to make concessions to the table. Look at the world that more often than not is fighting over something. Land, religion, non acceptance of a culture other than your own.
So working solutions in a relationship, to come up with a foundation of unity, oneness over the long haul. Why so hard to have harmony and why dissension, tip toeing or long periods of silence sulking?
You, I were not designed to be filled with, to demonstrate great degrees of personal pride. Instead any success, talents, abilities or any life purpose we have comes from our creator, does not originate within ourselves.
But taking the credit, giving yourself a pat on the back is like pulling out a pie thumb and saying oh, what a good boy am I. We are not talking “good job on the front lawn mowing son” kinda pride. But the “I’m better than you, look at all I have that you don’t, how great a person I am” not so pretty pride.
As long as you are too proud, you can not know God. Don’t need one. You become one. Because when conflicts come up, you have no fault. Not to blame. It becomes the other person’s problem, mistake. The degree of blame, how much you decide to heap on the other person for blame is in direct proportion to the amount of pride your inflated, puffed up your chest displays for all to see.
It is not about you, it is not about me. Go back to who made you. Don’t get in the trap of worshipping anything or anyone else. Prideful people are poison. If they surrender, acknowledge it, the relationship can grow, flourish and all around it will benefit.
Pride produces a closed mind, not open to advice.
The relationship can not get around the stumbling block, line in the sand that is so important to the one who dug it with his, her heel. Pride is the main ingredient in any quarrel.
Holier than thou approach to judging others instead of working on you. Because in extreme cases of pride not thinking you need any improvement. Not responsible. Self importance. Thinking you are without fault. Needing spotlight center attention with cars, clothes, jewels, “toys” and adornment or living through the accomplishments of your kids and taking full credit is the pride that destroys relationships. Our country is marketing heavily with the more is better and happiness is tied to how much material “stuff” you hoard. It is not.
Your heart is only so big. Has room for only so much cargo. And pride is a heart hog. Leaves little room for other important precious character traits like kindness, love, forgiveness, mercy, patience, humbleness, gentleness, selflessness. Less pride, more space for the good stuff that true real inner joy radiates for all to see.
To get the issue resolved and back on track, pride needs to be shown the door. So workable solutions to the impasse can happen. And so the same rough edge, jagged glass sharp issues in any relationship do not keep cutting to the bone deep as resentment, discouragement grows.
But removing deep seeded pride that becomes part of your dress can only happen if the clothes horse wearing it sees the damage it causes. The need to get your way is a waste of time and excludes the other person in the relationship wondering hey, what about me? Taking turns, listening to their input builds the relationship. Gives life new meaning as love is allowed to grow.
Concessions, ownership of the part both prideful people play in the way the disagreement gets resolved is surrendering.
For the good of the relationship because you have to for it to grow or flounder. Loosen, remove the prideful chains that cause so much pain, suffering, angst. Watch the number of clashes, grid lock and silence, tip toeing on egg shells atmosphere in a home to disappear. Work to a common solution and don’t stay together but living alone. One on each side of the house, apartment.
The other downside of pride as it takes deep root in your heart? Is the ability you think you have to look in to the hearts of others. To the point that others can not even have their own personal feelings that are supposed to be their very own. Have you ever called someone a liar for how they felt?
Do you use the words “never, always” often to describe the other person’s long list of faults? What is on your paper for faults, areas you struggle or stumble, that need to worked on? Anything?
The more pride, the unhealthy kind you have in your heart, the shorter the list of what you feel needs work within you.
You become perfect in your eyes and others, well not so much. That is not Christian and what gives the desire to be one a bad rap to those that are not. They see you up here, them down here.
We are all beginners, need to be humble, meek, full of humility and grace. Not high and mighty, prideful. No, it is not easy. But is the only way to tackle pride, other areas robbing you of healthy, rich relationships.
How you feel in your heart is not right or wrong.
When you are lucky enough to be with someone that can and does open up their heart, believe them. That honesty clearly explains what the problem is and how to solve it. Because it involves both people in the relationship. And there is only one God that can see what is really in your heart.
Taken face value and not challenged, what is in the heart dared to be shared by someone who can trust you will mean the relationship becomes stronger. Greater closeness, more rich meaningful experiences in life can happen and distance, pushing each other away stops.
No one is a liar in truthfully wearing their heart on their sleeve for all to see.
Also makes you accountable once you admit pride is a cross you have to bear but are working on removing it. Add it to the list of what it takes for better relationships, what you can work on if you take your eyes off the other person’s paper. And work on the areas of your life that need changing, adjustment. Get on your knees, alone in your spiritual garden. A little morsel of pride is healthy, a double helping or plateful is dangerous.
Maine, less people, more natural beauty all four seasons to work on a better you, for a better simpler life. Get here quick as you can.
Greener Grass On The Outside, Other Side Of The Fence.
Maybe the pasture is not large enough to meet the grass needs for the number of horses crowded in it.
So they get hungry, restless. Start to feel tempted and check out the neighborhood. Out west when taking the youngest to college last year and driving the red jeep called Sally. The one that four kids learned how to master the road with, Elliot and I saw a lot of wide open grass land.
Thirsty, over baked in the ceramic kiln like heat conditions unlike Maine’s weather, climate. Out west in places it takes three acres to support the four legged animals. In Aroostook County, the same cow or horse can do quite nicely with one acre due to better conditions. Less heat, more water, sometimes better soils.
More is not always better. Like life when the more we get, the more we want. Kind of like beat the buffet gluttony to get your money’s worth thinking. That habit can lead to how are you going to top that one, to get beyond same old same old to maintain fireworks life excitement.
Looking for greener grass can happen when what you have to survive on is lacking, not enough.
But unless an animal is a gypsy, renegade and just likes to take to the open road like a hobo jumping a rumbling by freight train, they stay content. In the pasture because they are getting what they need. Are peaceful, well fed. As for gratitude, not sure if cows, horses do that and will get back to you after a little more research.
People are like those animals and charging through a fence to get to something greener starts because of unmet needs. Food is a pretty basic need like air, water, shelter, family, love. Often what you are lacking can be accommodated with communication, negotiation. Or acceptance that what you expect from others is going to have to come from within yourself. Or some of the needs no one, not you, not others can provide either. Only God can.
Is your happiness external, showy, a lifestyle needing wheelbarrows of dead green Presidents to provide?
That kind of happy feeling will not last. But the inner joy that radiates from within because you have all you need, maybe not all you thought you wanted is the 180 degree direction some of us need to take. There is a turn around, reverse direction jug handle just up ahead. Get on your knees, look for it. Don’t miss the cue.
When you take a trip in to the islands and are looking for a tour guide for the day, check the van or taxi dash. You see lots of Bibles, but look for a well worn, heavily used one. That is your man.
On a family vacation trip to Jamaica, with the kid jammed van we negotiated a price, hammered out an itinerary and after beaches, shopping made one more stop. I asked if the driver would kindly drive us in to the heart of the island, away from what only the tourist see. To show us where he lives. He seemed surprised, then smiled and said sure.
Twisting, winding, narrow roads that went straight up and then the bottom dropped out of them made all of us question the logic of my request.
Other vans, taxis with “toot toot” passed us with not much more than a few sheets of paper tolerances between our door handles and mirrors. All drivers friendly, waving, honking in their own unique style, rhythm, tempo.
The “home sweet home” our driver was proud to point out had no windows, was built of odds and ends of cinderblock, mishaped dimension wood. Surrounded by a collection of other rag tag motley affair homes with the same lack of repair. Flapping rusted metal roofing challenged too many times by frequent hurricanes in the local weather forecast.
Scrawny dogs roamed the roadway. You sensed they were the villages, not any one in particular that kept track of their shots, flea collars, wormer trips to the vets. But the kids remarked, noticed that all the villagers were happy. Poor and did not know it? Or grateful for what they did have. Never lamenting what they did not.
It was not a case of ignorance is bliss.
That they did not know any different. It was because all the glitz, shiny colors and expensive hooplah, trappings were not an option. And they were freed up to dig, search deeper within themselves.
Gaining self satisfaction. Raising self esteem and gaining a sense of self worth radiating obvious joy from within out. Not expecting others around them, events to unfold for fleeting happiness from outside.
The kids noticed and pointed out that they have nothing yet the islanders have everything they need.
And despite poverty hardships, are freed up in a material sense to concentrate, focus intently on the areas of real value in life, relationships with others that all of us need.
If you are a loner, do it all yourself self contained, open up that shell. Ask for help, extend it as a good servant. Be more aware of others. Examine why that shell was created in the first place.
And about that pasture you tend. Fix, mend your own fences, tend your own pastures. Keep anything you cherish, protect under watchful eye with greater awareness of what happens if your pasture is not kept green, healthy for greater meaning out of your life of service to others. Get on your knees, water, fertilize, love it like your special personal garden for greener pastures.
Maine, the right setting to live a rich, full natural life surrounded by four seasons beauty.
One Big Happy Family In Maine. Stay Connected. Learn From Each Other.
How well do you know yourself and wasn’t your favorite teacher growing up also the one that challenged you?
Your hardest teacher who kept you accountable. Made you believe you could do better, be more in an encouraging way? That was honest if you were slacking, trying to cut corners without putting the time, attention into the home work assignment and told you?
The outward appearance of the people you meet is what first gets your attention.
Or some rely on juicy gossip, rumor spreaders if you decide to let them do your thinking. With the public opinion of some more important than asking or taking the time to come to your own conclusion. Drawing wrong conclusions. Studying others, passing judgement based on not much happens a lot in our culture.
But getting closer, inviting in, allowed to see inside a person’s heart is a very fortunate but rare, elusive thing.
Because not all of us let ourselves take a serious, long hard look at the inside of your heart. You meet a lot of people that do not open up, that act, run and hide. That don’t dare to show you who they were yesterday, are today and working to be tomorrow.
Freely listing their weaknesses, greatest fears and why they have them is a healthier, honest approach. With no shame, guilt and knowing you have to be the same person inside and outside your home. Transparent if you are ever going to improve, grow more mature. But the truth is feared to scare someone away.
I like, love someone more if they do show me everything in time. Because you and I eventually figure it out any way. We all carry baggage. That opens up, can not be hidden for long. But we have to acknowledge we all have pieces we carry. Need to put down, leave behind with work.
Impressing others, giving an impression that you are something you are not comes from a steady diet of spin, marketing and being told it is all about you. Being happy and the center of attention twenty four | seven. Caring, sharing, kind and a loving heart and being a servant to others is where the real beauty is in a person. Inside that heart, not the layers and layers outside to appear glamorous, envied or full of pride and vanity.
People need to be tough skinned, tender hearted day in, day out.
When you are able to let your guard down which is hard for people that have been hurt and are hardened, then others that can help you see the soft spots. They also see the bruises, black blue and purple spots, stripes on your heart. That trust is important in a relationship to deepen it and not be just skimming the surface. For show.
Be your best but work to be even better. Don’t get comfortable or expect others to do all the heavy lifting, changing so your crank factor does not activate when you get frustrated, irritated. And automatically look around the room to see who is responsible. And they better cut it out. I did not say it is easy. I struggle with the same things I outline in my blog posts. But we help and learn from each other right when we compare notes honestly?
Surrendering. Waving the white flag is considered a sign of weakness. But being honest about your fears, weaknesses helps others be more sensitive and understand how you are built. Why you react the way you do that needs work, changing.
We need others to help perfect us along with being on our knees daily.
You don’t get help unless you ask for it. And it all starts with knowing you need it. That life improves when you understand yourself and are open, honest to get input from those your trust, who have lived with you long enough to make some interesting observations.
Listen to them, see if more than one friend, family member is pointing out things not with a harsh sharp tongue but out of love for you.
Lay your relationship cards face up on the table.
All of them, uh uh ahhh, that one up your sleeve too. Love does not let you keep any, hold back some for yourself when you trade hearts. When your concerns are the other person and yours become the other persons.
But keep the key to work on your inner joy, peace and to develop good character traits in your heart at the same time. There should be so much give and take, activity, communication back and forth to guide the unfolding process. You can not be free and easy if you are defensive, resentful or shut down and retreat.
Look up and take you eyes off those around you.
Avoid comparisions, keep your peepers on your own sheet of paper. Turn down the noise around you and listen to the small still voice inside that increases in volume, intensity the more time you spend on your knees, in prayer. Make it as important as air, water, food, shelter. It is.
Make the mental, spiritual shift of the need to “look good” outside to the world to working overtime to be pretty on the inside of your heart. So without words, it radiates, oozes with joy out of you so obviously.
To the point that those who have not seen you for a while stop, look and literally ask “What’s happening inside you?” And then without your response but just from your smile, they know without your answer exactly what’s up.
Keep it going, you are on the right track.
The one that is lighted, that shows you are worth your weight in salt afterall. No one else can fix you but they can guide you. And you can lend a hand in other people’s quest to live life healthier, more fully mentally, physically, spiritually. It can not be store bought and is all home grown natural.
Let up.
Change your focus and instead of nagging, demanding, sulking, withdrawing, put all that wasted emotional time and effort in to attitude improvement. Adopt the life approach to others that it’s you who needs to change, improve.
Your misery, pain and suffering is not caused by others who don’t meet your expectations. It’s YOU not measuring up to be better, to help lift up the many relationships around us.
Take a blank white sheet of paper.
List all the things you don’t like about the person nearest and dearest to you. Take another sheet, jot down the areas you are weak in, what you need to work on. Long list on your self examination right and very few items if any on the other person’s run down right? You see the point.
Our way of looking at problem areas, other people we don’t really know is flawed. Too easy to point fingers, sit back and get lazy in your own corner. Get out of the ring, stop fighting and start healing.
Spend time alone, away from people and search your heart, examine your life, and ask yourself hard questions. Be your own harshest critic. be humble, full of humility, honesty. And come to understand the reasons why you are the way you are, why life unfolds the way it does that you are directly responsible for.
The junk, gunk, dark stuff you want to remove, change.
And to reveal the areas of you that just need a little polish to really shine to be a good servant, to show all your passion, purpose here on Earth. Other people do not trigger your negative attitudes, you allow your bitterness to develop. But love keeps no score of wrong. Think about the meat of Ephesians 4:31-32 today. It was my lesson today.
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Maine, an easier place to figure things out because of less population, more beautiful four season surroundings.
