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(“Cheers” Song In Background) Maine Small Town Living.

Celebrating The Fourth Of July In A Small Maine Town.

In a small Maine town practically everyone does know your name.

Fewer people living in the small population rural regions of Maine means no one gets lost in the shuffle. Most of us travel in the same circles. Things get down quicker with Dave and the sling shot efficiency too. Because there is a familiarity that leaves no one in the dark. Today’s routine of getting a large black coffee before starting the day proves that.

I swing in to McDonald’s and there is just enough space, one car length to get the rear end of the Jeep out of the lane of traffic that would side swipe it otherwise. I’m thinking why not just pull in to a parking space, trot in and be out way way before the tail end of this wagon train gets to the drive through pick up window.

I hit the McDonald’s lobby, not needing a happy meal or breakfast burrito.

First guy I see is Snookie Bossie, an old snow sledding buddy. Friend and classmate of my oldest brother Stephen who told me if you are in Canada and get in a rumble, Snookie and the older Roger Howland are the two you need for protection to race back to the border. Snook prefers you call him Will but good luck shaking that novel, unique a high school nickname. How many Snookie’s have you known in your life time? Snook grins, asks where I am preaching today? Likes my matching suit.

Float Your Boat, Get Outside To Enjoy The Scenery Happens In Small Town Maine.

I smile and tell him no funerals, no sermon or services today but have an action packed real estate day ahead of me. Five closings last week in one day was a proud achievement but I tell him Robin, my secretary of twenty years gets the credit. More a business partner than an assistant. Elliot, my youngest as a full time single Dad was not even two when Robin signed on to the payroll.

Then I think as Snookie smiles, hey wait a minute.

He trained my secretary who worked at Ward Log Cabin 20 years ago. Robin said he was a boss that wanted it done right, or do it over. She liked that and does not like messing up, not getting it done right. Other secretaries in the pool did not take so fondly for his business like, right is right attitude. Robin embraced it, did not take it personally when criticized. It’s like conflict resolutions, focus on the problem, don’t attack the person.

Then Arnold Bulley who is a manager at McDonald’s says hello, waves on the way, zipping by behind the counter. David Grant, a friend of an older brother Jonathan and classmate of 1967 grabs my elbow and says hello on the way out. He has the day off from defending the US / Canadian border today. Snookie is “chalmerizing” his wife’s car, a loving gesture in his retirement. While waiting for it to warm up, go for a motorcycle ride.

Any one outside Houlton Maine would wonder what the heck “chalmerize” means.

Chalmer Karnes is or was the best car detailer in the business. And if there was a world series or Olympics for auto detailing, my money would be on the Chalmer of years ago. When he was in his prime.

Brick Solid, Victorian Classic. That’s Houlton Maine, County Seat For Aroostook.

Silver haired, always smiling Paul Callnan, a CPA wanders by with a breakfast tray and I figure he is taking the needed “you deserve a break today” after tax season.

Know him well through service in Rotary.

Rode on the same Houlton Maine yellow school bus lucky number thirteen growing up. Was at the University of Maine at Orono in the same freshman dorm Aroostook a few years back before joining TKE fraternity. Moving out and being on the north end of the UMO campus. No longer at the extreme south end to walk to a cold winter 8 AM college class with a strong breeze and no black flies in the dead of winter in Maine.

And then the large, careful it’s hot hot black coffee I trotted in for is handed to me.

Without asking me is this your order. Because the lady on the drive through sees me, knows what I am after. And with NASCAR efficiency delivers it. All done with in just a few minutes. The drive back to the Maine real estate office is a quarter mile, does not take ten minutes like a city.

So Much Going On In Small Maine Towns. Get Involved, Pitch In And Make A Difference Happens.

Thinking nothing of it, I left the Darth Vadar black jeep running, unlocked when I hopped out. Parked it at McDonalds. Keys in it. XM percolating, purring out of the speakers. Did not have to worry the 4WD SUV would be gone when I came out with my steaming cup of Joe. Or it being up on jack stands with the tires and wheels missing. Or other parts evaporated, air wrenched off by any five finger discount gang members. Who shop religiously at Midnight Auto Supply.

We don’t have those events happening in the 46th lowest state for crime, Maine.

Things on the crime scanner are pretty tame. Instead of worrying about your personal safety you put the energy into improving the area. To help collectively to make things happening around you better than it was.

I am grateful for the natural, unspoiled beauty of Aroostook County but the people are the greatest asset. Maine, it’s not like this many other places.

Living in small Maine towns is friendly, helpful, healthy.

Visit Our Cary Library In Houlton Maine Video.

Cary Library is one of many local jewels, gems that make Houlton Maine special. Small Maine town living is special and everyone is connected for the common good.

I’m Maine REALTOR Andrew Mooers, ME Broker

207.532.6573 | Email info@mooersrealty.com |

MOOERS REALTY 69 North ST Houlton ME 04730 USA

April 18, 2012
Tap Your Toe, Hum Along, Feel The Music.

God Gave You Five Senses…Use Them All In A Blend In Maine.

Music is communication, not just through the words or lyrics.

But the beat, the melody, harmony. And with music videos you get to see the people, musicians move and groove, shuck and jive.

One song that has been around awhile that sticks in my head, stands out as refreshingly different is by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros.

Catchy, unique and fresh in it’s honest, not spun or slick approach. You can tell the group are friends, not studio musicians brought together for a few gigs or promotional appearances.

They have fun, you can see joy in the female lead singer who is excited, full of contentment and the love between she and the male singer is obvious. Nothing is playing for the blinking red light on the camera and the two are lost in the music. Who would not want to be in that place. You are when you find the music that fits where you are in your life.

Here is a KCRW studio live performance of the song “Home”.

To have everything you need, to be home. Where ever two people who love each other are…they feel they are comfortable, they are heading home.

Maybe there were storms, set backs, but overall sunshine, blue skies and love conquers all is not a bad scenario to strive for when you find the right person to spend the rest of your life with. That is brought in to your life for a reason.

Maybe difficult, hurt, bruised people are coupled for a reason.

And with work, pray, surrender, both figure they are better for it. Share the thought they both got the better end of the partnership. Each got more than they deserved.

To perfect and polish each other through the trials and tribulations, ups and downs. Maine, less people, more outdoor beauty and peace. Become a better person, more relaxed in Maine.

I’m Maine REALTOR Andrew Mooers, ME Broker

April 17, 2012
The Call Today From A Star Little League Pitcher.

Lessons Learned On The Maine Little League Field.

Back in 1983 the big plan was to have a ball team.

I dreamed, wanted to sponsor a Houlton Maine little league team. But the slots were taken, had all the sponsors they needed. Until Shop and Save’s management adopted a policy that the players needed to raise the membership fee to sponsor a team individually. So they gave up their team. I lucked out as a proud new sponsor. What a little league team to inherit, to have fall in my lap too.

Many kids that play little league baseball are struggling with enough money to just buy a glove.

Lacking the support behind them to get to the ball diamond for games and practices. And in a small town like Houlton Maine in Aroostook County, the entire village pitches in to help each boy or girl have the experience of being on a team. The structure and discipline of what it takes to work as a team. To earn a victory, suffer through a lean building season. How to win and lose as a team. Which happens a lot in life right? Losses are lessons. Victory is sweeter when it is not a given.

Hustle, Trot, Run. Even When It’s A Walk, 4 Balls That Gets You On First Base In Little League.

To learn the skills to win little league games and improve the goal.

To lose gracefully but maybe make the playoffs. Get a second chance to come from behind as skills get honed later in the season. I have enjoyed the little league teams over the years as much as the kids running and defending the bases. My oldest daughter and two sons were on our team and had a step daughter that was fun to watch at Community Park. In all their games as pretty talented athletes. The exercise, the “good game good game” chant down the line at the end. Welcome to small town living in Houlton Maine.

The first year’s team I went all out. Investing a thousand dollars in to pin stripe uniforms that were sharp, professional. Did actually look like the New York Yankees in Red Sox Nation though. An expense account set up at the local Houlton Farms Dairy Bar for after hard fought games. Win or lose when everyone gets a treat. When you step up to the window and let the lady know what you want for a size and ice cream flavor.

Maine Little Leaguers. They Give Their All, They Hoop And Holler. Go Team!

Today the star pitcher who called me today out of the blue reminded me of the experience he went through. He was a very dedicated player, very good and tough on himself, others on the team. An inspiration but I did not know the whole story why. But heard painful bits and pieces of it that I suspected but did not know the who, what and where about of the background details.

I remember the catcher Danny Erikson saying Luke Barnard was all over him if he bobbled the pop fly, missed the cut off throw.

But Danny’s mom reminded him “Danny, Luke is no harder on you then he is himself.” She was right. Luke was playing for greater stakes than the town championship that he was able to secure for the team as the heart, soul of the “red machine”. It was more than just a Houlton Maine little league game to Luke. Not just a plastic gold trophy and being hoisted high on his team players’ shoulders for making it happen. Or the star in the parade float we pull behind our jeep each year in the 4th of July parade.

He was living in the shadow of his older brother Ryan who was equally talented, gifted. And came before him. Set the stage, records to break. Was the benchmark to meet and surpass if he could to find his own place in the sunshine of his Dad’s approval, acceptance.

Wanting his Dad’s admiration and needing to prove something to gain his love and affection. We all want to make our parents proud. But this is not a healthy application of that desire.

Coming out on top in the game was not just a try your best and you get an ice cream win or lose situation.

Luke had to win. Driven by more than sheer athletic prowess. And did one heck of a job on the mound and as a utility infielder all in one. He was everywhere on the little league ball diamond getting the plays under control to notch another win.

Play Ball. Baseball. Little League In Houlton Maine. Lucky To Be A Team Sponsor Since The Early 1980’s!

Today I got a call from the kid that was the heart and soul of my first little league team and he was looking for housing. We had the best conversation about what he went through, where he is today and he turned out to be a nice young man. And will be a heck of a Dad.

I will help Luke anyway I can and am amazed at what he shared with me. How great he became despite all the setbacks and growing up so early. Rescuing other family members in the process.

My childhood on the Maine farm was tame in comparison to the story Luke spun.

It can make you naive and blind to bad things that do happen to good people, especially kids that are not fair. Make whatever happens to you somehow allow you to land on your feet. And be better for it.

And when you hear someone crying out, that is broken, needing help, be there for them. Return the favor that someone extended you when you needed a friend or maybe did not deserve one as you worked on dark issues, hurt in your heart that made you less than a happy, grateful camper. Maine is famous for places to heal, special hidden areas to get away from people and open up your heart to improve.

Maine, get here quick as you can. Come for a day, stay a lifetime. Consider the move to become a coach and build a little league team. We need your talents and everyone contributes something in a small Maine town.

I’m Maine REALTOR Andrew Mooers, ME Broker

207.532.6573 |info@mooersrealty.com |

MOOERS REALTY 69 North ST Houlton ME 04730 USA

April 16, 2012
Maine Simple Living | Get Stronger, Don’t Expect Easier.

Find Answers In An Unspoiled Four Seasons Setting Like Maine.

“Happily ever after”, that how any of us would like to live from here on out.

Until “The End”. But life is not a story book ending. And maybe life would not be so hard if we did not expect or hope it would be easier. Do you desire a life without the heavy lifting on Earth? Think you deserve, are entitled to one that just plays out free and easy, on it’s own and more like Heaven?

The way you approach and react to events, other people in your life speaks volumes on how you were raised.

How you are built, wired mentally, spiritually. Your inside, outer viewpoint when something joyful happens shows the true depth of your gratitude. Do you expect the good to just unfold, think you deserve it because of your “good works”?

Your own effort, dedication, skills, talents and attitude can help shape your self image. But giving yourself the center stage under the blistering hot, blinding spotlights may not be where all the credit is due. Your mate, God, kids, everyone you come in to contact around you helps lift you up. Contribute to your good fortune, sunny days of happiness, getting ahead.

Or maybe what you consider good fortune, a success is your ability to see the small joys that another might miss.

What someone else would say is not enough to tip the scales from a bad day to a good one. Because there is not silver lining for them but is for you as you gain wisdom and understanding. That you are able to take away from painful, hurtful circumstances and come out the other side stronger for it.

There is a purpose behind every problem. Embrace them, don’t run from them. Good lessons for you, your mate, family and all around you that you love and are suppose to inspire. No matter how difficult, confusing, your patience, persistent, attitude can improve you. Help you understand yourself.

It starts with you, then rubs off on others.

Find someone that takes the time to understand you, improve you, that is brutally honest. Tells you what you don’t want to but need to hear.

We live in a fast paced society with quick fixes desired. Wanting, throwing money at “not now but right now” fast complete solutions. Thinking “there, that problem’s eliminated”. Or was all the other person’s fault and I am free. Not so fast. Happiness is an inside job and expecting those around you to provide it is selfish, self centered. Exhaustive for those running in circles to stay in your blessings.

Thinking others around you are irritating, not meeting all your needs or helping you to be happy misses the point that they have struggles too. And some of your expectations are only obtainable, possible through God alone. Your mate is not able to to provide them. Yet. Much of what you need, expect, want is independent of you or your mate. It is not a case if they worked harder, you could be happier. A merry go round of replacing those people that seemingly offend you is not the key to inner peace, contentment. Same problems follow you as junk in your trunk.

The “I’ll be happy if…. ” or “I’ll be happy when…” means your happiness is postponed, on hold.

You are waiting for other people or events, circumstances to come around more to your way of liking, thinking. The “ifs” and “whens” may not turn out the way you hope and dream. But trusting, obeying can alleviate all your difficulties in life and lower your expectations to something more realistic.

Just be happy, jouful yourself first rather than expecting your mate to provide it.

Don’t adopt the “I will love you if” or “I will love you when” critical spirit that comes with a price tag. And when it is not delivered out of exhaustion, lots of frustration, silence, resentment happens. Which leads to low self esteem, your mate feeling like a failure, inadequate, unloved. It all snowballs, avalaches back and forth as the relationship loses unity, oneness.

In time with prayful dedication, daily work, you can get stronger and not just expect life with someone else would be easier. Using setbacks as life stepping stones. Tools to tackle the areas of your life you need to change. Skills to learn to accept those you can not. And less than loving ways all of us display because we all sin, make mistakes and often just don’t keep being the light in the darkness that comes from only one source. Reflect that love you gain with knowing God.

Use the painful situations you suffer through as boot camp to get closer to God.

As a challenge to learn more about yourself. You have choices, it’s your life and don’t listen to anyone that tells you you are no good. Or that you have very few skills or talents. You and I have lots of good qualities and can put them to work for God’s purpose.

Don’t question some people’s need to beat you up, bring you down. Instead, come out the other side of struggles, difficult situations better than you were going in. Take ownership of your mistakes.

Keep your eyes on your own paper and work on having better character traits. But realize others in the relationship sin too. Not intentionally but because of praylessness. A log in their eye. Being too busy with the wrong priorities. Too sensitive from needs not met that you think the other should automatically be able to. Realize that they are struggling with meeting your needs but out of love try. Failing misserably. Or just because of spending too much time being defensive, trying but missing the mark completely. There are major changes going on inside my heart.

The most real, genuine, interesting people are ones who have endured dark days.

Came out of the pain, suffering in a seemingly hopeless situation with a strong, greater faith. Because they were broken, abandoned, with no ones arms to hold them and no where else to turn but God. Who made you, understands you and will direct you if you let him. We need God in our lives.

God does his best work when you and I surrender. Reach out to him, keep him close all your life. The greatest life lessons are taught under fire and being tested, stretched. Realizing you and I are far from perfect. Never will be nor should we strive for total perfection. Not going to happen. But we can improve. Be happy with that, strive for that.

You learn skills, get “schooled” and unlock answers in suffering when you get stripped to the bone. Your heart ripped open, exposed. Your pride, ego, vanity get pushed aside in pain and that is where real life lessons get learned.

My Dad’s University of Maine commencement speaker told the graduating class wearing those strange square hats he hoped they all had major set backs early in life.

Better earlier than later to save future heartache. So they could benefit from mistakes in the beginning of their journey of making a living, marrying, having kids and developing better relationships.

We all need to fall on our face, to not take ourselves so seriously. To relax, just let the life current pull the canoe, kayak, boat along. Stop paddling upstream. Adjust your sails and use life’s lessons to improve. Take full advantage of your troughs, valleys and don’t just expect mountain tops all the time.

Soar higher, freer and believe more in yourself even if others you love and trust don’t.

Everything that happens in life is already known. Playing out right on time, on schedule for a reason that often defies logic. See the spiritual gain that can happen, strengthened you rather than crying out for life to get easier.

Not feeling sorry for the predicaments you often put yourself in is a sign of maturity. And creates a greater awareness to see the warning signs to keep them from happening over and over. Everyone has struggles, pain and suffering too… it’s not just you. God loves us, is in complete control. Get closer to him, learn from him. He made you, understands you and me.

Open up your heart, let him come in to your life. Let him work, improve your “insides” despite what may be going on in your “outsides”. Look up, not down. Don’t try to skirt the roadblocks, or sweep them under the rug blaming others for not measuring up. Or letting you down. The patience, dedications to get on your knees is the source of your strength for greater self esteem, sense of worth and purpose. Don’t waste an opportunity to learn, improve your character. Get stronger, don’t expect easier.

Maine, make the trip. Come for a day, stay a life time.

I’m Maine REALTOR Andrew Mooers, ME Broker
207.532.6573
info@mooersrealty.com

April 15, 2012
Maine Blog Post | Your Outlook On Life, Death.

Are your parents still alive?

Have You Seen This Lady? Know Where She Is?

Do you see them much because you live close to them?

Or are you NOT in the group of half of us in this country that live with in fifty miles of where we grew up?

Some people have parents they don’t enjoy or connect with regularly.

A few are resentful, blame their parents and folks around themselves for any unpleasantness, unhappiness. All that is wrong in their life with sometimes too high of expectations of others, too low of themselves.

But I fall in to the group that are grateful, appreciative for my parents who are now deceased from this Earth. Were they perfect, heck no. Neither are you or I. But being respectful for the parents you had if you were not an orphan or just had bad to the bone parents is important.

Maybe you don’t know where they are, who they were.

Or someone else stepped in to help raise, shape you. Maybe it was the entire Maine village from little league coach, teacher, pastor or extended family members that were by your side. I appreciate my parents even more the older I get because of years being able to add, see their wisdom with sharper 20-20 vision of just how lucky I was.

When you grow up on a Maine farm, run a small family business, you see, spend a lot of time with your parents, siblings.

And during the work, labor you exchange ideas, share and communicate about life, family, hopes, dreams.

Kids learn the value of hard work, develop a greater sense of their place and importance in the family. They feel needed, have worth, are more responsible, more mature and secure with a purpose in their live, the family.

And what you saw, experienced growing up if it was good, healthy means those traditions, habits, rituals shape the way you raise your kids.

Outline the game plan for day to day in the family relationship if you are priviledged, blessed to have kids of your own. And if dysfunctions exist, abuse or neglect happens, then the adult child is going to have to work harder. Really have to think hard about the right way to do it when they did not witness it first hand in their own childhood.

Maine is a neat state to grow up and raise a family, make a living, get community involved. The great outdoors with a lower population and more nature, wildlife can not help but add to the experience of life. We are connected, look after each other when the population is lower in a rural state like Maine. Everything is home grown and nothing is stronger than the heart of a Maine volunteer. That puts his, her all in to an act of kindness, something they believe in strongly. They step up to the plate. All the time. This is there purpose in the community.

Death is not viewed as the end all in Maine either.

In just Houlton Maine alone, a town of about 6700, there are a dozen churches. You can view the abundance of places to worship God in a six by six mile town many ways. That prayer driven good down to Earth people abound. On their way to a better, final place. A real home.

That various, distinct versions of worship exist because not everyone is on the same page on what the right way to do it is. Or that we all are basically doing the same worship process but don’t all get along. See eye to eye.

Maybe because there are specks, logs in them? Or we just have not gotten to a more mature, serious level of worship. And church hopping happens to find the right fit. You should not be comfortable in your worship. Being happy is not as important as being holy either.

Hopefully you can embrace other religions without being threatened with your own.

Take the time to study them all is the best advice right? Don’t judge others, their worship experience. All are wired, plugged in to hopefully sooner than later in life really bottom out, get on their knees and open up their hearts. To cry out, ask for forgiveness of sins, start repentance, reconcilation.

Death can mean the beginning of real living in a better place and our short time on Earth is just a staging area to prepare us for the real event. Where we are reunited with passed on loved ones that departed before us. Death is part of life. Should not be feared and kids should be made to respect it, expect it and not worry about it.

Growing up my family made regular visits to the cemetery.

I did the same thing with my kids. It was not a morbid place or only reserved for graveside services during a burial. We visited not just during a loss, sad times of mourning. And to learn our connection to other family members, to know we are part of something bigger, other generations. And to hear stories about deceased family members to pass on. And for perspective on ourselves. Because history is sometimes your best predictor right?

My kids would ask me what my uncle this, aunt that were like.

I feel bad for folks that are lost, have no family or have cut off the one they had. By not any action of their own or just out of plain necessity. And I remember one time during spring that the wire trash receptacles were full of plastic and silk flowers removed with replacement life flowers added to the graves at Evergreen Cemetery.

My oldest daughter Elizabeth noticed some graves were all decked out, some looked like no one had visited for decades. While the boys and I were studying one family grave, Elizabeth took the better plastic flowers out of the garbage can and used them to spruce up the shabbiest grave, after removing some grass, applying some housekeeping skills.

It hit me as kids know a better sense of justice, fairness, kindness than we adults do.

They don’t want anyone left out. They champion the underdog. We lose that child like honesty, goodness and need them around for reminders of gentle loving ways to treat others.

We become better people teaching them too because they keep us honest.

You can not tell them one thing, and do the other and feel good about it as a parent. Consistency is key. Bible based direction is an absolute to get it right. Have a solid plan.

I am glad my four children, two step children got to know my parents, Nana and Buppy. Kids are better for the time spent with grandparents on all sides of a family. Tap in to yours if they are alive. And especially if they live local. Don’t waste a valuable resource of experiences, wisdom and strive to be closer to family. Embrace them, learn from them.
Maine, simple living for powerful results.

I’m Maine REALTOR Andrew Mooers, ME Broker
207.532.6573
info@mooersrealty.com

April 14, 2012
Maine | Communication, Listening Is Easier In A Less Populated Rural State.

Fewer People, Less Noise Helps You Hear, Listen, Communicate Better In Maine.

My nine year career as a communicator, broadcaster started with passing an FCC third class license test in Bangor Maine at age fourteen.

Initially, I worked at a 1000 watt Houlton Maine radio station owned by Howdy Doody. “Buffalo Bob” owned three Maine radio stations in Houlton, Millinocket and Calais.

I then went on during college and after to work the Bangor Maine broadcast market. Ending up the career at a radio station owned by horror writer Stephen King. When I was treasurer of TKE fraternity and working at Bangor stations I would get home at 1am, tour the house and turn off lights, the heat down. Get ready for an 8 o’clock class at UMO.

When you spin records, rip and read news, help find lost cats and dogs, you try to be helpful.

You picture each and every segment in the audience that you don’t actually physically see. But the Arbitron quarter hour rating numbers show otherwise. You don’t ever whine when the “on air” light is on. No complaining. It’s all about being helpful, friendly, connecting with the listener.

The listeners you mass communicate to with the big iron stick, guy wired out back behind the studio with the transmitter in it. All of us tuned to a specific frequency, channel and my job to try to make every one feel unique, special, informed, entertained.

Depending on the time of day, the topics brought up can vary just like in a relationship, a marriage.

Tied to the weather, a local event, drive time special music to motivate to “get to work on time”. Reminding the Maine roads were a little slick this morning so leave a little earlier. Or that school is delayed one hour because of the recent storm over night.

Or remind the listener of all the possible weekend happenings to consider with their day off. Or mention that some of us, the announcer included are working the weekend to make the listener’s brighter.

You look out for the person on the other end of the signal.

Try to engage with them. Want them to come back. To dial you in, leave it where it’s parked, rip the knob off, solder it solid to where you got it. And like a marriage or relationship, familiarity, routine, love grows to make the connection stronger. Unless a better radio station woos you away.

You take requests as a broadcaster and have more latitude on what you play at a smaller Maine radio station. Not so structured. More local and home grown. The new music is introduced, the golden oldies that carry a million memories are rotated in to the music mix to gain a solid, loyal listener base.

Sometimes the special request, dedication gets a free clam basket from York’s Dairy Bar across the road on US Rt 1. And a longer record like Free Bird, Stairway To Heaven gets cued up, spun to get the food retrieved easy does it. Without hurrying, worrying about a skip or spilling the cole slaw before getting back to the console sound board.

Keep the music, information, news, weather, entertainment rolling and heaven forbid if dead air happens when you mistime a network break. Mighty John Marshall at Z-62, a rocker would fine me twenty five cents a second for “dead air”.

In real life you need pauses, “dead air” and just because someone is not communicating does not mean anything is wrong.

I have had to learn that not everyone is a babbling brook of communication. And to become a better listener. Actively tuning in to the frequency, adjusting to other modes of communication.

The tone, attitude, body language and what the other person is trying to tell me. If I would just stop being defensive, and know they did not stop loving me. But are a little up in arms over this, that. The other person in a relationship if you trust them, love them will help you work through turmoil, valleys and troughs in your life. Let them.

Ask any number of happily married, veteran, long time married couples the most important relationship component. More often than not, communication back and forth daily so problems don’t get stalled on a parked conveyor belt is needed.

Busyness hurts active listening, communication.

So do too many kids with over booked schedules that take the better part of our attention for two decades. So does prayerlessness. The television always on or something interfering with genuine communication between two people can kill a relationship. Or starve it of the richness it could have, deserves.

After kids leave the nest, many couples suddenly look at the other and wonder, who is that? They are married living alone. And it is their own fault because time to enjoy each other did not happen daily. I did not take a daily lunch and ate on the run. Stupid me, I do now.

Those pauses, date nights, making the other person you love number one energizes you too. The better you do, the better the other does and together unity, oneness can be reached, maintained.

Provides time to care, share with your mate. The act of preparing a meal or taking someone out for a bowl of fish chowder is so important to a relationship. Look at your priorities, shift your focus, see what really matters. It’s your life, relationship. Your kids are watching, learning too.

Really listening can help outlock the mysteries in your mates “little black box”.

When you wonder later what went wrong, why the plane went down and there were no survivors.

No communication or shutting down for long periods of time causes the other person to jump to the wrong conclusion. To worry, to return to old, outdated information from back when communication was happening.

The person you remember from earlier when communication was a kinked hose but not cut off totally is not necessarily where that person is today.

You need current information, to know the truth of today to set you free.

Otherwise you stay stuck in the past, miss the today and lose hope, dreams, faith in tomorrow. Not what God intended in the garden at that first “arranged” marriage.

Lack of communication can be because no time is slotted, scheduled for it. Or anger, resentment pushes the other away because one or both of the partners in the realtionship feel their needs are being missed, not met. Often only God can meet the need that is missing, not the mere mortal mate.

Remember too men fix things, make a mess of it trying and only have eight crayons. Pretty simple creatures and out classed, gunned by women who are way more connected to their feelings, not so compartmentalized.

Hand written notes left in hidden places, the sound of piano hymns playing, singing is all communication.

Something I miss as I enter my home that is 32 feet from my Maine real estate office. Communication does not just involved the tongue. And sometimes that is a good thing.

Acts of love, duties done willingly for someone else without expecting recognition or something in return should become random acts. A habit built in to the relationship maintenance so it stays strong, growing, healthy.

You do not realize what you had that was good until it is gone. And you don’t want to just remember the bad to cauterize and discard. We are not in junior high, it is time to grow up. Slow down, listen, learn, and remember.

Communication with expressions from work or general public conversations is not helpful either. I would be reminded that something I said was like I was talking to a customer response.

The type of communication, taylor made to the person on the receiving end can enrich a relationship. Shows you care, that their words, thoughts, feelings are worth total undivided attention. That they matter. Which benefits both of you greatly.

Cliches don’t help serious communication.

Can cause frustration and then things said in anger that go over the top. And the bitterness, hurtfull communication can not be taken back. Is like a bullet that shatters a bone, fragments and is impossible to totally retrieve, take back.

Maine, we try harder when we live in a smaller under populated state. Need each other and know it depends on each individual to be a better “we”. Thanks for following the Me In Maine blog posts.

I’m Maine Andrew Mooers, ME Broker
207.532.6573
info@mooersrealty.com

April 13, 2012