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Maine … What Are You Waiting For?

Some See A Burdock, Weed. Others Take The Time To See The Hidden Flower.

Ever feel you are being held back, anxious but did not know why?

With a sense of urgency caused by the crack of a starter’s gun at a sporting event but your arms, legs don’t move? Good. You are learning to relax, sit out a few of life’s races. Or your kids just grew up and are out on their own.

Life is not a race.

Not a buffet with everything under the glass sneeze guard having to be sampled. Heaped tittering on the sliding cafeteria tray like John Belushi’s Bluto in Animal House. Everything in life does not have to be approached like it’s life and death important either when you learn to let go, ease back and just enjoy the ride.

Sometimes the rush and hurry is because of agendas others have for your life. Parents, spouses, bosses, churches, kids. Expectatations to do this, don’t do that. But why not salt and pepper a few of your own like Frank’s song about a little of it being “my way”. Especially after your kid’s that got your best growing up are up and out of the nest.

At a graveside funeral service yesterday, mourners, friends and family of the deceased came together to pay their respects.

To share and review the life of the departed. With outdoor stories about the personal experiences shared without a script. From the heart. How the one being honored touched the life of those standing around the grave site in the blustery cold wind. Being warmed inside by the spirit of that person.

Funerals are healthy, should not be avoided. Make a person think of their own life as they hear about the journey of the dead before they left Earth. As you listen to the honor guard’s last lone blast on the trumpet. Watch the two unfold, refold the stars and stripes. And on bended knee with the utmost respect, present that red, white and blue triangle to the greiving family. To begin the healing. To attempt to fill the big void, gap the loss of the loved one creates when they die. And loved ones begin to realize how much they depended on that individual but did not really know the extent until they are gone.

Ask any one with a bucket list or when they near the end about how they lived their life. Most share the joys of what was done right. But many will have regrets about spending so much time just trying to measure up. And meet the expectations of others around them. Coming up short in adding some color, seasoning to that life because of so much effort trying to please others. Happiness from outside yourself comes and goes. Joy developed inside you remains, radiates and sustains you through thick or thin.

Take some of those hour glass shifting sands for yourself to produce some inner joy.

It is not selfish if the bulk of your life is as a good and faithful servant to others. Your own personal enjoyment, enrichment, what you enjoy doing is also what defines your life. Adds greater deeper meaning.

When family, especially your own kids are a priority in your life, the obligation and privledge to raise them provides lots of opportunities for fun. Because kids are masters at it. Especially in the younger years when their life is kept simple. Kids get you involved in their sports, schools, church activities. Cause bleacher seat introductions to other family oriented parents. Stimulate you to not miss church or to slack off in areas you are spurred on to work harder because of them. And the importance to make sure they are prepared for the wild blue yonder with practicing what you preach.

When you take vacation trips with your kids, those family outings are seen through their eyes. Not just your own peepers. Kids in a good way cause the focus to be on the importance to get them raised right. Not just taking care of your own needs. Being responsible, considerate of others and giving something back all part of shaping a child. To give them a worthwhile purpose, skills and a healthy outlook to enjoy and impart with their kids some day. As the circle continues.

When you spend time alone, read a lot after the kids are out on their own, time to pull back, think about life happens easily.

You are freed up of the running a household with a neon glowing “no vacancy” sign out front and all that good parenting demands. A home becomes just a house again. And you have some frank discussions with the guy in the mirror you brush teeth, run a comb through your hair with each morning. About now what.

Like the funeral experience which is like studying the life of others reading biographies to shape your own, clarity happens. Like the Johnny Nash or Jimmy Cliff remake song point out about hope, faith, promise. Options, choices are revealed for decisions you used to make out of consideration sharing with a mate or family considerations. But now on your own with the take away that it is your life to lead.

If many people feel they lived their life jammed packed with meeting the expectations of others but not many of their own, there is a corner to turn up ahead.

A sudden spacious empty nest can mean its time to have lattitude to charter your own brightly colored kayak. Grab a paddle. Find someone in time to paddle with beside you. But for now just enjoy catching your breath. Cranking your head around to survey the surroundings. To consider the options that become crystal in the quiet, new sensation of being alone. Listening for daily directional cues in Maine. Get on your knees and work more in your private personal spiritual garden.

Slow Down, You Can Not Help But Relax In Maine.

Maine, a special place where you can still hear yourself think.

Unless you are hard of hearing and thought yesterday’s Me In Maine blog post was about Las Vegas. It was not, but about Gulf Hagas, the “Grand Canyon of Maine”. The four seasons solitude so easy to tap in to in Maine is the best place for the many life reviews along the way. To see what needs tweaking, loosening, tightening.

Make Maine your first priority for the unspoiled, uncrowded, safe surroundings. To not lead your entire life out of just a sense of duty. But one out of love for what is inside you ready to blossom. To grow stronger in faith that feeds your passion, hunger, thirst and helps you discover what has been missing. You and I have lots of value, talent, worth that we need to re-discover. That sometimes others miss altogther because of your unwillingness to open up and trust. Or just they did not take the time because they were too busy too. Make, take the time to open up. It’s okay to be needy, we all are.

Too often others can remind you of where you come up short. And you start to believe them when they say there is nothing about you that they like. It is up to you to see where you do get it right for self confidence, self esteem. Risk living your own life with confidence. Love every one, see every thing in it with hope, faith and understanding anyway. It is not conditional, it should be an agape type of love without strings or demands in return.

I’m Maine REALTOR Andrew Mooers, ME Broker
207.532.6573
info@mooersrealty.com

May 13, 2012
Maine Vacations | How About Gulf Hagas And The Hermitage?

You are lucky enough to have a week’s vacation or live in Maine and are itching to get out and explore.

Discover the “Grand Canyon of Maine”, Gulf Hagas as one possible hike with the family. In places the Pleasant River west branch drops up to 375′ deep to create plenty of pretty impressive waterfalls in the rock out cropping. Along the sides of the twisting 3 mile gorge straight up slate walls of stone containing this natural wonder of Maine. Spring runoff especially causes a memorable family day trip hike. One ideal healthy exercise and back drop for an outdoor picnic lunch.

The gorge and land surrounding Gulf Hagas is owned by the National Park Service.

Bring your camera to capture frames of a registered National Monument owned by the Nature Conservancy called the Hermitage. A special area of white king pine stands that are high, wide and not your typical forest to add to the wonderment of the Gulf Hagas experience. Hurt your neck looking skyward with eastern white pine trees up to 150 feet tall and up to 10 feet in girth, wide.

The Hermitage (a majestic stand of towering white king pine) was declared a registered National Landmark in 1968. This land is now owned by the Nature Conservancy. Like the trail that follows the canyon rim offering hikers views of the falls and its geology, the Hermitage is free, open to the public. Fall foliage trips add special colorful sparkle to the hike with your family too.

Gulf Hagas is located in the last 100 miles of more difficult sections of the Appalachian Trail Corridor.

Many people walk portions of the 2200 mile hiking trail extending from Georgia, to Maine. And in time can claim to have completed the AT, a feat of beauty, perseverance and a testament to one’s physical fitness.

The Bangor and Aroostook Railroad evolved from an earlier rail service to Katahdin Iron Works, a State Park and historic site where iron ore was once smelted. And this nearby site helps add to the Gulf Hagas adventure. Landowners around Gulf Hagas have agreed to be good stewards to protect the natural Gulf Hagas resource in the 500 acres of land wrapping around the many waterfalls and pools.

You can’t build fires and no camping is allowed in Gulf Hagas.

Bring a couple pairs of sneakers because rocks are slippery and you are going to get wet crossing brooks and need foot protection. Plus you have to figure how much time and stamina your family’s age can handle has for an enjoyable hike too. Start early because the up to 8 hour walk can cover 8 miles in total. But a shorter version, easy hike of Gulf Hagas Brook and the famous Hermitage giant pines stand is a 4 mile round trip.

Kayaking Gulf Hagas is not for the faint of heart either. Can you say expert level, class five rapids when the water level is high? The steep gorge walls can make egress nearly impossible in what may have deemed Maine’s best creek run. Strap on the helmet, tar your hands to hang on to your paddle, say your prayers and check your term life insurance. Jaws, Buttermilk Falls and Billings Falls are a few of the more legendary, notable waterways to visit on your hike around the canyon rim trail of Gulf Hagas.

Where is Gulf Hagas, the now defunct Katahdin Iron Works site?

It’s location is northwest of Brownville Junction, Maine. Here is a helpful link to get to Gulf Hagas and other hiking trails you want to add to your bucket list to experience.

Maine, lots to see if you can just make time to cross that big green bridge entering Kittery on the bottom of the state.

Vacationland is stamped as a friendly reminder on every Maine license plate and it’s only your own fault if you don’t make time to sample all the Pine Tree State has to offer for low cost, high value family outings. Maine, get here quick like a bunny. Come for a day, stay a life time.

I’m Maine REALTOR Andrew Mooers, ME Broker
207.532.6573
info@mooersrealty.com.

May 12, 2012
Living In Maine, The Rear View Mirror More In Focus.

Your Past Gets Colored, Filtered And Look For The Good, See The Entire Event, Situation, Relationship.

How you see your past, the experiences with events, situations, people in it reveals a lot of about the real you.

The way you were raised, the filtering process that happens from your inner most workings deep down inside. What you learned growing up or habits you picked up along the way.

Like the rear view mirror warning, disclaimer “Warning: Objects In The Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear.” Means be careful. Distortion, good and bad coloring happens that obscurs the truth or reality of the past life film frames. The ones already played out on the silver screen where they splash on the back of the inside of your head.

My youngest son Elliot texted me yesterday morning that he had had a dream about Nana the night before.

Followed by a two thumb tapped out telegraph that “I miss her”. We all do son and maybe because she was such a big part of our daily lives. She lived local and was such a loving, warm, make you feel good cheerful person.

I texted back “Today is Thursday. Tonight is Pizza Hut night.” We hit the hut, it was not a rut. And Nana would always order spaghetti with those spicy meatballs. While the table full of kids would chat it up. Debate how many and what kind of pizza pies would fit the hole in the end of the gullet.

Habits done like clockwork.

Ray Crone and his wife now deceased recently would always “hit the hut” the same night. Christine Nickerson and her long table of family too. It was a ritual, tradition and seemingly no big deal to anyone outside the routine. But part of sharing, caring and learning from grandparents. With three generations feasting, enjoying the time together and sustenance.

But kids grow up as they should. Elliot being picked up May 16th at the Portland Maine Jetport, home from his completed junior year at Colorado College. The next day packed up in black hand me down Honda Del Sol of his brother’s we just put some money in to thanks to Mitch Holmes. Master with a power wrench and screw driver.

And Bob Aucoin gifted with corrosion removal, the spray bomb and tail light housing replacement. Elliot pilots the black two door gas miser to The Forks. For his summer job leading a boat on white water rafting for Northern Outdoors expeditions on the Dead River. Hang on Elliot, folks grab the short rope and whisper some rafting safety prayers.

His brother Alex just got done working at A Basin ski area in Colorado. And begins his summer job before strapping on the boards again next winter for another Colorado winter ski season. Alex too has a summer job rafting the Colorado River a few states away from his little brother. Empty nest syndrome recovery has begun for Dad as a new life stage is entered.

The past starts and stops as folks get older.

The one constant I am jealous of is the sixty year life event polished marriages like my parents had. Til death do us part raising the four kids they had together, not a blend of two families which is a delicate procedure.

When two brand new people have the double whammy of working out the knot tying after saying “I do”. And keeping the troops happy who may or may not have seen the need for the matrimony. And struggle with the divorce that led up to it that they were not so wild about either.

It is easy to take for granted that sixty year marriage is just because both were ideally suited.

Neither partner was or ever is perfect. But start out or with time, lots of work and patience become perfect for each other. And each finally end up thinking the other is the best thing to happen in their life.

Those marriages of sixty years are like the rear view mirror warning. They don’t start out the way they appear now. Talk to someone that has logged that many miles. I do. And over and over here the secret is three little words. You are thinking “I love you”? All older folks will say yes, love is definitely a component.

But liking the person, seeing his or her strengths, not a long list of things you don’t like about them.

And wishing they would change to make them easier for you, me to take. That we don’t react so lovingly to when frustration sets in.

The three little words as one secret axiom to keep in mind always for marriage unity, onesness? When feathers get ruffled, as storms brew inside a household, surrender. “Dear probably right.”

I texted Elliot back later yesterday to let him know Nana’s farm flowers are popping, poking through the ground and doing nicely. Planted with love, kindness on her knees where she spent everyday to begin it with gratitude. She worked hard praying, studying, asking God for guidance every morning. I get up before five am every day to walk, study, pray and do the same sharing with my creator. Because I can not do it alone. There is much room for improvement as the previous blog posts spell out, making me an open book as I get it. But I am told in emails, there are a few others out there with room for improvement too.

Mom, Nana, Mary Lou to many lives on in our hearts and I meet people almost daily who also miss her here on Earth. Still alive in the beauty of God’s flowers. Her Christmas cactus that still blooms at my brother Stephen and Jenny’s home in Bangor Maine on Thatcher Street. Or when I see flocks, African violets she reminded me need to be lovingly dusted, watered, fed, talked to to survive.

I have no doubt whatsoever Nana is in a better place called Heaven. Because of her life dedication to God and with his help to be the way she treated people, looked at life and raised us all. And due to her accepting without batting an eye and smiling for all in the room when it was announced stage four cancer. Need to start chemo today. And she said I am trusting in the Lord if it is my time to go. To be with my Dad who had died a few years earlier.

Look for the good in others, yourself. Always.

And in past relationships, instead of seeing the bad, instead one by one see the good never fade moments that were enjoyed. Not cauterizing lingering feelings of love that you might try to smother with a soldering iron of bitterness or regret. Because you can never, should not try to “unlove” someone to make room for another. Because you can not.

Maine, outdoor places to be alone, to see and process events, relationships, other people in your life with 20 – 20 vision. Push in the clutch, just coast and let go, learn much in pauses you build in to your life in Maine, the way life should be.

I’m Maine REALTOR Andrew Mooers, ME Broker
207.532.6573
info@mooersrealty.com

May 11, 2012
Like Noah, Pairs Of Tradesmen Just Like Swimming Lessons.

Maine Home Remodeling, Make Certain The TLC, Renovations Are Through Out The House.

When you remodel your Maine home today it is a given that the carpenters, plumbers, electricians come in pairs.

Just like Noah’s job to fill the Ark with two of every animal that he built in his backyard. That ark started when he was 500 years old. And the last set of animals of each sex entered the completed ark, the boarding ramp hoisted up in to place to set sail when Noah was 600 years old.

Boy, I hope my bathroom remodel does not take that long.

Seriously, like swimming lessons you remember going to on a parks and recreation bus wearing a round tag on a wrist band to help get you back to your parents, it’s the buddy system in life. I learned how to swim at Cary Lake in Littleton Maine as a nephew along for the ride with my Aunt Ruth’s horse riding kids summer camp. Had a partner to keep from drowning when the life guard had a lot of bobbing heads to track in the Maine lake.

The Me In Maine blog posts are mostly about living and learning together in a less populated, more scenic state like Vacationland.

And include lots of Maine photos, videos on ME local community events. Our other blogs on Active Rain, Own Maine Real Estate posts cover more real estate related topics. Because after thirty two years of listing, marketing, selling property listings, that is something I should know something about. That rubbed off that can be posted to benefit someone in the audience.

But back to remodeling in a Maine home.

Have a bathroom job wrapping up tomorrow (fingers crossed). And the contractors tell me every Maine home owner is glad to see them come. But hold the door open to get them out to their work trucks with the rack on top as quickly as possible. To swish them out of the yard. To clean up the dust. Rearrange the remodeled area of the Maine home.

I am in many homes where the Maine home owner is pretty proud as a peacock on their DIY handiwork. That is less than stellar. And other Maine houses to list where the paid professionals did a superb, outstanding job in the kitchen. But the rest of the house got no attention. Like life, you can not put all your effort to excel in one area without others suffering from neglect. There needs to be balance, moderation.

Spreading around the TLC and the money budgeted for repairs, renovations is key to any Maine home resale.

Like an orchestra where each instrument contributes to the common good. The final track produced for others to enjoy at home or in the crowd, balance has to happen.

If the budget is only so big, where to spread the resources with paid professionals but you and the kids doing the tear out to ready for the new is sometimes the course taken. Like the flip this house where in a half hour the owners make a fortune or lose their shirt, careful study is needed on where, when, how to do the house improvements.

Major home system areas like leaking roof with mold and rot developing.

A furnace spewing carbon monoxide, an electrical smell of ozone from faulty wiring, or dangerous falling chimney bricks take priority. But little things like a new bigger bathroom mirror, light fixtures more up to date, paint and clean up of the clutter pay big dividends.

Making the shoe box ranch in to a castle in a so so neighbor is mixing the original intent of the structure. Or consideration of what is going on in the market for potential real estate buyers. And ignoring, having blinders on with the decline of the neighborhood.

But whatever you do, like life, don’t put the emphasis all on one area and neglect others if you want to avoid disaster.

Spread your talent, time, resources around the entire property in and outside.

Maine, get here quick as you can and start really living. More outdoor recreation options to come for a day, stay a life time enjoying.

I’m Maine REALTOR Andrew Mooers, ME Broker207.532.6573
info@mooersrealty.com

May 10, 2012
Maine Relationships | Pride Is The Biggest Wrecking Ball.

Grow A Relationship By Removing The Pride, The #1 Killer.

Conflicts in life, in relationships happen and how to resolve them is obviously a special, uniquely tailored skill.

Because no two people are the same. Each brings a different set of demands or ability to make concessions to the table. Look at the world that more often than not is fighting over something. Land, religion, non acceptance of a culture other than your own.

So working solutions in a relationship, to come up with a foundation of unity, oneness over the long haul. Why so hard to have harmony and why dissension, tip toeing or long periods of silence sulking?

Pride.

The number one wrecking ball of relationships as C S Lewis expands on and explains why the five letter word, the condition is so destructive to peace, love, contentment. Lewis says pride has been the number one cause of misery in the world, the family since the beginning of time.

You, I were not designed to be filled with, to demonstrate great degrees of personal pride. Instead any success, talents, abilities or any life purpose we have comes from our creator, does not originate within ourselves.

But taking the credit, giving yourself a pat on the back is like pulling out a pie thumb and saying oh, what a good boy am I. We are not talking “good job on the front lawn mowing son” kinda pride. But the “I’m better than you, look at all I have that you don’t, how great a person I am” not so pretty pride.

As long as you are too proud, you can not know God. Don’t need one. You become one. Because when conflicts come up, you have no fault. Not to blame. It becomes the other person’s problem, mistake. The degree of blame, how much you decide to heap on the other person for blame is in direct proportion to the amount of pride your inflated, puffed up your chest displays for all to see.

It is not about you, it is not about me. Go back to who made you. Don’t get in the trap of worshipping anything or anyone else. Prideful people are poison. If they surrender, acknowledge it, the relationship can grow, flourish and all around it will benefit.

Pride produces a closed mind, not open to advice.

The relationship can not get around the stumbling block, line in the sand that is so important to the one who dug it with his, her heel. Pride is the main ingredient in any quarrel.

Holier than thou approach to judging others instead of working on you. Because in extreme cases of pride not thinking you need any improvement. Not responsible. Self importance. Thinking you are without fault. Needing spotlight center attention with cars, clothes, jewels, “toys” and adornment or living through the accomplishments of your kids and taking full credit is the pride that destroys relationships. Our country is marketing heavily with the more is better and happiness is tied to how much material “stuff” you hoard. It is not.

Your heart is only so big. Has room for only so much cargo. And pride is a heart hog. Leaves little room for other important precious character traits like kindness, love, forgiveness, mercy, patience, humbleness, gentleness, selflessness. Less pride, more space for the good stuff that true real inner joy radiates for all to see.

To get the issue resolved and back on track, pride needs to be shown the door. So workable solutions to the impasse can happen. And so the same rough edge, jagged glass sharp issues in any relationship do not keep cutting to the bone deep as resentment, discouragement grows.

But removing deep seeded pride that becomes part of your dress can only happen if the clothes horse wearing it sees the damage it causes. The need to get your way is a waste of time and excludes the other person in the relationship wondering hey, what about me? Taking turns, listening to their input builds the relationship. Gives life new meaning as love is allowed to grow.

Concessions, ownership of the part both prideful people play in the way the disagreement gets resolved is surrendering.

For the good of the relationship because you have to for it to grow or flounder. Loosen, remove the prideful chains that cause so much pain, suffering, angst. Watch the number of clashes, grid lock and silence, tip toeing on egg shells atmosphere in a home to disappear. Work to a common solution and don’t stay together but living alone. One on each side of the house, apartment.

The other downside of pride as it takes deep root in your heart? Is the ability you think you have to look in to the hearts of others. To the point that others can not even have their own personal feelings that are supposed to be their very own. Have you ever called someone a liar for how they felt?

Do you use the words “never, always” often to describe the other person’s long list of faults? What is on your paper for faults, areas you struggle or stumble, that need to worked on? Anything?

The more pride, the unhealthy kind you have in your heart, the shorter the list of what you feel needs work within you.

You become perfect in your eyes and others, well not so much. That is not Christian and what gives the desire to be one a bad rap to those that are not. They see you up here, them down here.

We are all beginners, need to be humble, meek, full of humility and grace. Not high and mighty, prideful. No, it is not easy. But is the only way to tackle pride, other areas robbing you of healthy, rich relationships.

How you feel in your heart is not right or wrong.

When you are lucky enough to be with someone that can and does open up their heart, believe them. That honesty clearly explains what the problem is and how to solve it. Because it involves both people in the relationship. And there is only one God that can see what is really in your heart.

Taken face value and not challenged, what is in the heart dared to be shared by someone who can trust you will mean the relationship becomes stronger. Greater closeness, more rich meaningful experiences in life can happen and distance, pushing each other away stops.

No one is a liar in truthfully wearing their heart on their sleeve for all to see.

Also makes you accountable once you admit pride is a cross you have to bear but are working on removing it. Add it to the list of what it takes for better relationships, what you can work on if you take your eyes off the other person’s paper. And work on the areas of your life that need changing, adjustment. Get on your knees, alone in your spiritual garden. A little morsel of pride is healthy, a double helping or plateful is dangerous.

Maine, less people, more natural beauty all four seasons to work on a better you, for a better simpler life. Get here quick as you can.

I’m Maine REALTOR Andrew Mooers, ME Broker
207.532.6573
info@mooersrealty.com

May 9, 2012
Can’t Wait Til Your Kids Grow Up And Out, Leave The Nest?

Maine, The Safe Four Season Place To Raise A Family.

Empty nest syndrome… those three words can sound like much ado about nothing. Until you go through it or know someone who has.

If you are a full time parent that enjoyed the job, that can last the better part of twenty three years considering college schedules, ENS takes adjustment. Not all a bowl of cherries easy until you learn new life patterns to fill the big hole kids out of the nest free up, provide for other areas of living.

But if you were a parent who your kids, others around you often heard the big sighs. Saw your eyes rolling. And with disgust heard “boy, will sure be glad when you kids are gone, the house is empty”. Maybe the freed up financial resources. Easier, any time you want scheduling to get in to the bathroom mornings will be a cinch transition. Empty nest syndrome may affect you not so much.

Moms and Dads that raise families verbalizing that “poor me, when do I get my time to be happy” parent resentment are missing the boat. You improve yourself raising kids and teaching them responsibilty, consequences for your actions. Getting them to church and learning right from wrong. About manners, playing fair. And that parents make mistakes, miss cues, have to work hard for the give and take of relationships.

Lessons along the way. Not to run with scissors. Take turns. Pick up your mess. Hang up your coat. Wipe your feet. Say your prayers. Hearing good job. But learning the word no used. Discipline, rules that make a kid feel safer, loved with defined boundaries. Knowing limits, consistent rules that adjust for greater freedom if they earn it as they get older.

Kids reminded out of love to make good decisions.

Even though you are not in the room, or around to know if they don’t. Especially after they leave the nest. But you still mother hen worry about them out on the open road in the big wide world. Reminding to say please and thank you. Have respect for others including teachers, coaches, referees and you the parent, other family members.

To treasure the elderly, give up your seat. Hold doors and to smile. Be pleasant. To think of others besides yourself. To take care of your possessions and respect those of others who worked just as hard to obtain them.

Parenting is a challenge but didn’t your parents make the effort?

And how do you like how you turned out? Did they gripe, complain or deep down wish they had not had you? Or did you and your brothers, sisters add greater meaning to their life?

Were you part of a family that was at the same birthday parties, weddings, graduations, funerals, the Christmas and other holidays year in and out? Did your Mom and Dad hug, demonstrate love and fondness? You learn from them how relationships look. How conflict resolution happens to solve the problem together, not attack the person or brow beat.

I tell new parents to be, with a stork circling overhead that their life will go from black and white to color.

That kids are a hoot. You will wonder how you lived without them. Not know what was missing. Until they grow up, start their lives and become more and more independent.

To live fine and dandy without you because someday you will be gone. Happens to all of us. And that is not the time your children should start living, making their own decisions. Prepare them. Teaching them all you can while the clock ticks loudly.

Parents can be like big selfish kids themselves. Who whine about the expense of effort, household financial resource money juggling. Kids enhance, not deprive if you take the responsibility, privlege, gift, blessing seriously.

We all need to grow up feeling loved, appreciated and taught the skills required in the big wide world out there. Kids don’t enjoy feeling that they are a burden. They are not. All special, unique, and can teach you much in the process of parenting. Each stage they grow through, each child with a different birth order, parents at different stages as head of the household giving direction. Each boy and girl, brother and sister with different temperaments, talents, special needs like all of us. No two the same like snow fakes.

Kids, family is a joy not a curse. A blessing not a burden. You were a kid once, and you appreciate the effort, love and dedication your parents provided more the older you get. As you pass in to life areas that are “ah ha” moments where you get it. Realize what you could not further back on life’s journey. We all make mistakes, miss cues and should be running everything through God for direction, inspirations, the truth.

Kids make you a better person because you think of someone besides yourself.

You teach them values and are accountable because they are watching. They keep you honest, trying harder to take the privilege, blessing of being a parent serious.

Changing diapers, applying A and D ointment, hooking up vaporizers, rocking them to sleep. After microwaving a bottle of milk, testing it on your wrist to make sure it is not too hot. Dropping happy boisterous kids off at dance, little league practice, school. Bother local and at college. Picking them up from the movies. Reading bedtime stories, saying prayers, tucking them in after tub time and being all squeaky clean.

Putting training wheels on their first bikes. $300 prom dresses worn once you wonder if they could be made in to draperies. Have another use. Or handed down to someone who can use them, give them another showing. Braces, college funds, after school jobs. Family reunions, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents. Usually at a Maine lake. Or bean suppers, church bazaars. Or a state park, hiking Mt Katahdin or smaller hill trails. Maybe fishing for supper.

Grocery shopping more than once a week

Laundry and teaching kids to separate the whites, colors. And if you throw in a shirt inside out, that is the way it is being washed. And on the other end of the process you will have to turn it back out anyway yourself. Pointing out the roles all in the household need to assume for it to run smoother. So the parent does not get worn out, taken for granted. And eventually in a marriage expectations of someone else doing all the work. Being spoiled and unhappy if they don’t. Spoiling a child is way worse than neglect. Because when the parent is done, who’s job is it now? Everyone around them if you enable them like the parent did.

Watching them ricochet in higher kitchen doorway diagonals in the johnny jump up.

Spooning high chair breakfast with a higher pitched voice announcing here comes the airplane…open wide. Asking them what will it be today and pointing at the Gerber baby on the rice, oatmeal, barley box. Sippy cups. Burbing, bouncing on your lap and cooing. Going back in the room after they are asleep and just listening to them breath. In awe of the little person that is part of you, that will not stay small long.

Grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning house, changing beds, creating holidays, birthday parties. Helping with home work. Playing catch, tennis, or skiing, getting them to hockey practice. Or building a soap box derby gravity race cars.

Or just listening to them, making sure they spend time with other family members like grandparents who care and share. Letting them know there are lots of people around you that love you. Are rooting for you. That they have cheerleaders.

Thinking they are growing up way way too quickly. You were not done with that last life phase. But reminding yourself to enjoy it. To prepare as one by one they bean pole up and out, off to college then for good. But you don’t and can’t totally prepare with seamless segue to life after full time kids. It takes conscious effort. Or waiting for grandchildren for another part time taste of child raising.

Once empty nest syndrome arrives lots of healthy things can happen to fill the space, the void.

You can relax. Take a breath. More time dedicated to working on your relationships with others, stronger marriages. Service work through church or in your community are rewarding outlets too. New hobbies, education options. And reaching out to folks that were out of the loop because parenting is full time. Multiplies by the number of kids you have. Had six at one time. Whew.

Vacation traveling, discovering more about yourself reading, making the adjustment to the next phase of life. The one that can be the best is yet to come if you embrace it, avoid the slip in to a lonely pit of being dismissed in the full time parent role.

You never stop parenting, but the pauses between when you are needed get greater with the kids who will appreciate you more and more the older they get. And when they eventually try their hand at this parenting thing. And they too become Sunday school teachers, your grandchildren like them are in Christmas pageants too.

Maine, family is everything. Raising one in Maine is the place to do it with four seasons of uncrowded natural safe surroundings. Most of the upbringing is outdoors, with plenty of fresh air, less television, more use of their imagination.

I’m Maine REALTOR Andrew Mooers, ME Broker
207.532.6573
info@mooersrealty.com

May 7, 2012